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Let these funny Board Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
An architect's most useful tools are
an eraser at the drafting board,
and a wrecking bar at the site.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
He who loves practice without theory
is like the sailor who boards ship
without a rudder and compass
and never knows where he may cast.
- Leonardo da Vinci
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
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Everybody loves you when you're six foot in the ground.
- John Lennon
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
God Loves an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
So does Your Mother.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard
Jealousy is that pain which a man feels
from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved
by the person whom he entirely loves.
- Joseph Addison
The one who loves the least, controls the relationship.
- Robert Anthony
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
If misery loves company, misery has company enough.
- Henry David Thoreau
Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge,
but he who hates correction is stupid.
- Anonymous
He who wants to do good knocks at the gate:
he who loves finds the door open.
- Rabindranath Tagore
The creation of something new
is not accomplished by the intellect
but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity.
The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.
- Carl Jung
Love the heart that hurts you,
but never hurt the heart that loves you.
- Vipin Sharma
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
- Jerome Cummings
Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones,
as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire.
- Francois de la Rochefoucauld
A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend,
one human soul whom we can trust utterly,
who knows the best and worst of us,
and who loves us in spite of all our faults.
- Charles Kingsley
The soul loves to meditate,
for in contact with the Spirit lies its greatest joy.
If, then you experience mental resistance during meditation,
remember that reluctance to meditate comes from the ego;
it doesn't belong to the soul.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns
Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
- Mark Twain
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
Thinking is what most people resort to after all else fails.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
Most people's historical perspective
begins with the day of their birth.
- Rush Limbaugh
Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.
- Albert Schweitzer
People living their lives for you on TV;
They say they're better than you, and you agree.
- Jewel
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
History is the version of past events
that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte
Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people
by the people for the people.
- Oscar Wilde
I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin
People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow
Always do the right thing.
It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain
Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
- Anonymous
In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand,
and without examination
- Mark Twain
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White
The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett
If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder
I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Don Marquis
Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz
There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.