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Let these funny Believed Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Those who won our independence...
valued liberty as an end and as a means.
They believed liberty to be the secret of happiness
and courage to be the secret of liberty.
- Louis D. Brandeis
I've always believed that if done properly,
armed robbery doesn't have to be an unpleasant experience.
- the movie Thelma & Louise
My father always told me that
all businessmen were sons of bitches,
but I never believed it till now.
- John F. Kennedy
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
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Why, sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll
Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll
We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins
Nothing is so firmly believed as what is least known.
- Michel de Montaigne
Only those who can leave behind everything they
have ever believed in can hope to escape.
- William S. Burroughs
Even the truth, when believed, is a lie.
You must experience the truth, not believe it.
- Werner Erhard
No statement should be believed because it is made by an authority.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Friendship, like the immortality of the soul,
is too good to be believed.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Real love is never a selfish emotion.
If you want something from someone -
especially if that something is sex -
what you are feeling is not true love.
True love is about wanting happiness for the person you love -
and not about seeking happiness for yourself.
Fortunately, in most cases our own loving presence
is the greatest gift we can give to a person we love.
Nonetheless, the litmus test of love is knowing
we would choose never to see that person again
if we believed that distance would bring them greater happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The future belongs to those
who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick
Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein
I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Don Marquis
We are all worms. But I believe that I am a glow-worm.
- Winston Churchill
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown
Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty,
believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
- Louisa May Alcott
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts
People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha
Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford
Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A wise girl kisses but doesn't love,
listens but doesn't believe,
and leaves before she is left.
- Marilyn Monroe
Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.
- Francis Bacon
Whatever you do, you need courage.
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you
that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising
that tempt you to believe your critics are right.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Have a Vision, a Dream.
Believe in that Vision.
Live that Vision with every fiber of your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch
Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world.
For, indeed, that's all who ever have.
- Margaret Mead
I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein
I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life
as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.
- Joseph Campbell
The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw
We believe whatever we want to believe.
- Demosthenes
Truth is not defined by
how many people believe something.
Ask. Question. Think.
Decide - for yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared
believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.
- Bruce Barton
I do not believe in the God of theology
who rewards good and punishes evil.
- Albert Einstein
I can not believe that war
is the best solution.
No one won the last war,
and no one will win the next war.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I was brought up to believe that the only thing worth doing
was to add to the sum of accurate information in the world.
- Margaret Mead
Take time to contemplate -
away from the opinions and influence of others -
what you really want
and what you believe to be important in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I believe life's rich experiences need to be shared with others -
for me this is the way one builds knowledge.
- Pravs J
I do not believe in immortality of the individual,
and I consider ethics to be an exclusively human concern
with no superhuman authority behind it.
- Albert Einstein
In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west;
people create distinctions out of their own minds
and then believe them to be true.
- The Buddha
We believe that if men have the talent
to invent new machines that put men out of work,
they have the talent to put those men back to work.
- John F. Kennedy
Without music, life would be a mistake...
I would only believe in a God who knew how to dance.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Identify your assumptions (what you believe).
Question how you feel when you hold those assumptions.
Visualize holding different assumptions.
Ask yourself how it feels to hold a different world-view.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it,
people will eventually come to believe it.
- Joseph Goebbels (Minister of Propaganda in Nazi Germany)
The thing always happens that you really believe in;
and the belief in a thing makes it happen.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I believe that every human mind feels pleasure
in doing good to another.
- Thomas Jefferson
In spite of everything, I still believe
that people are really good at heart.
I simply can't build up my hopes on a foundation
consisting of confusion, misery and death.
- Anne Frank
Believe in yourself. Have faith in your abilities.
Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers
you cannot be successful or happy.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Believe you can - and then make it happen.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is done to you as you believe.
- Ernest Holmes
A true friend is one who believes in you
when you have ceased to believe in yourself.
- Anonymous
Stand often in the company of dreamers.
They believe you can achieve impossible things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Faith consists in believing when it is
beyond the power of reason to believe.
- Voltaire
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
- Theodore Roosevelt
I do not believe in a fate that
falls on men however they act;
but I do believe in a fate
that falls on them unless they act.
- The Buddha
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.