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Let these funny Awake Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Choose to be as a young child -
fully awake, eager for the next experience.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie
Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.
- Henry David Thoreau
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Why does the eye see a thing more clearly in dreams
than the imagination when awake?
- Leonardo da Vinci
Only that day dawns to which we are awake.
- Henry David Thoreau
To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake
is to be continually thrown out of the nest.
- Pema Chodron
We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake,
not by mechanical aid, but by
an infinite expectation of the dawn.
- Henry David Thoreau
Stirred awake by the exquisite music
of my own relentless commitment.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Mindfulness means being awake.
It means being aware of what you are doing.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
Today is life - the only life you are sure of.
Make the most of today. Get interested in something.
Shake yourself awake. Develop a hobby.
Let the winds of enthusiasm sweep through you.
Live today with gusto.
- Dale Carnegie
A man is a god in ruins.
When men are innocent, life shall be longer,
and shall pass into the immortal,
as gently as we awake from dreams.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The light which puts out our eyes is darkness to us.
Only that day dawns to which we are awake.
There is more day to dawn.
The sun is but a morning star.
- Henry David Thoreau
Beyond mind, there is an awareness that is intrinsic,
that is not given to you by the outside, and is not an idea -
and there is no experiment up to now
that has found any center in the brain
which corresponds to awareness.
The whole work of meditation is
to make you aware of all that is "mind"
and disidentify yourself from it.
That very separation is the
greatest revolution that can happen to man.
Now you can do and act on only that
which makes you more joyous, fulfills you,
gives you contentment, makes your life a work of art, a beauty.
But this is possible only if the master in you is awake.
- Osho
As you awaken,
may your dreams greet you by name,
and may you answer, "Yes!"
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people stay for awhile,
and move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to a new understanding,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
- Flavia Weedn
A single event can awaken a stranger totally unknown to us.
To live is to be slowly born.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
We are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness.
- Thich Nhat Hanh
It takes discipline and compassion
to awaken the divine in ourselves long enough
to recognize the divine in another.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
There is no evil and there are
no evil forces in the world.
There are only people of awareness,
and there are people who are fast asleep -
and sleep has no force.
The whole energy is in the hands of the awakened people.
And one awakened person can awaken the whole world.
One lighted candle can make millions of candles lighted
without losing it's light.
- Osho
I will dance a little.
I will move with the wind.
I will give my body to my love and celebrate
that we have substance beyond the idea of ourselves.
We can move. We can touch. This is my physical exclamation point.
This is how I can awaken my mind to the possibilities in the day.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy
in creative expression and knowledge.
- Albert Einstein
I Did Not Die
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain,
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
- Anonymous
I give you this one thought to keep -
I am with you still - I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the sweet uplifting rush,
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft starts that shine at night.
Do not think of me as gone -
I am with you still in each new dawn.
- Traditional Native American Prayer
Your visions will become clear only
when you can look into your own heart.
Who looks outside, dreams;
who looks inside, awakes.
- Carl Jung
Who looks outside, dreams;
who looks inside, awakes.
- Carl Jung
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
- Albert Einstein
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks!
It's going be a bumpy ride!
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
Crazy is walking down the street
with half a cantaloupe on your head,
muttering; "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- the movie Spy Hard (1996)
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
Grit ruins clam chowder,
but enhances your character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is far more impressive when others
discover your good qualities without your help.
- Judith Martin
This is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- the movie The Godfather, Part II
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
Powerful Dreams Inspire Powerful Action.
When you can taste, smell, and touch your dreams,
you can enroll the world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams
Trust your own instinct.
Your mistakes might as well be your own,
instead of someone else's.
- Billy Wilder
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job:
it's a depression when you lose yours.
- Harry S. Truman
Until you've lost your reputation,
you never realize what a burden it was.
- Margaret Mitchell
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life's a bitch... and then you change your attitude.
- Jennifer Unlimited
As the evening beckons with the promise of tomorrow...
may your gratitude rise up and with strength answer, "yes."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.