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Let these funny Authority Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Authority has every reason to fear the skeptic,
for authority can rarely survive in the face of doubt.
- Robert Lindner
Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Think for yourself and question authority.
- Timothy Leary
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Leave no authority existing not responsible to the people.
- Thomas Jefferson
NO ONE has been granted the authority to tell me
how my life should be lived.
I answer only to myself and to Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The people are hungry:
It is because those in authority
eat up too much in taxes.
- Lao Tzu
A person acting from a motivation
of contribution and service
rises to such a level of moral authority
that worldly success is a natural result.
- Marianne Williamson
To say that authority, whether secular or religious,
supplies no ground for morality
is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction.
- Joseph Addison
No statement should be believed because it is made by an authority.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Football is like life - it requires perseverance,
self-denial, hard work, sacrifice,
dedication and respect for authority.
- Vince Lombardi
Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority
is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Moral authority is never retained by
any attempt to hold on to it.
It comes without seeking and
is retained without effort.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I do not believe in immortality of the individual,
and I consider ethics to be an exclusively human concern
with no superhuman authority behind it.
- Albert Einstein
The ultimate authority must always rest
with the individual's own reason and critical analysis.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
For those men who, sooner or later, are lucky enough
to break away from the pack, the most intoxicating moment
comes when they cease being bodies in other men's command
and find that they control their own time,
when they learn their own voice and authority.
- Theodore H. White
I was bold in the pursuit of knowledge,
never fearing to follow truth and reason
to whatever results they led,
and bearding every authority which stood in their way.
- Thomas Jefferson
Many of us have been conditioned to trust others' opinions
more than our own, and I believe that sort of trust is excessive.
This is especially true with regard to authority figures -
doctors, lawyers, priests. I trust my doctor's intentions toward me,
but I don't blindly follow his suggestions
without checking other sources also.
He was trained to prescribe a pill for everything,
and does it with the best of intentions,
but I often choose to trust God's quiet voice inside me
rather than my doctor's medical advice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If I am happy in spite of my deprivations,
if my happiness is so deep that it is a faith,
so thoughtful that it becomes a philosophy of life.
If, in short, I am an optimist,
my testimony to the creed of optimism is worth hearing.
- Helen Keller
...
Helen Keller (1880-1968) overcame being both deaf and blind
to become a famous author, lecturer, and activist
for women's suffrage, workers' rights, and ending war.
Every human being is the author of his own health or disease.
- The Buddha
Quotations are slippery things, really.
A brief sentence or phrase, often repeated -
always completely out of its original context -
and sometimes not an accurate representation
of the author's original words, let alone his intentions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Humility is not thinking less of yourself,
it's thinking of yourself less.
- Rick Warren (author of The Purpose Driven(R) Life)
At what point then is the approach of danger to be expected?
I answer, if it ever reach us, it must spring up amongst us.
It cannot come from abroad. If destruction be our lot,
we must ourselves be its author and finisher.
As a nation of freemen, we must live
through all time, or die by suicide.
- Abraham Lincoln
Action is the real measure of intelligence.
- Napoleon Hill (author of the classic Think and Grow Rich)
It is a greater joy to see the author's author, than himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is dangerous to be right in matters
on which the established authorities are wrong.
- Voltaire
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Never call an accountant a credit to his profession;
a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
- Charles Lyell
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain
Nothing is as good for the soul as a marshmallow roast.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer
Life is a moderately good play
with a badly written third act.
- Truman Capote
I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Harvard takes perfectly good plums as students,
and turns them into prunes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
Few things are harder to put up with
than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
It is far more impressive when others
discover your good qualities without your help.
- Judith Martin
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll
Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
There is more of good nature than of good sense
at the bottom of most marriages.
- Henry David Thoreau
A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
- H. L. Mencken
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Regrets are the tears of good deeds left undone
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No good comes from hurrying.
- Yiddish Proverb
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.