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Let these funny Attend Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
If something is important to you,
attend to it immediately, and regularly.
If something is not really important to you,
that's great also -
just scratch it off your to-do list forever,
and never worry about it again.
Choose how you invest your time, and honor your choices.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau
In wartime, truth is so precious that she
should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies.
- Winston Churchill
He didn't come out of my belly, but my God,
I've made his bones, because I've attended to every meal,
and how he sleeps,
and the fact that he swims like a fish
because I took him to the ocean.
I'm so proud of all those things.
But he is my biggest pride.
- John Lennon
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I would rather be exposed to
the inconveniences attending too much liberty
than those attending too small a degree of it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother
rather than all major credit cards.
- Robert Orben
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone,
"it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
- Lewis Carroll
Forget love... I'd rather fall in chocolate.
- Anonymous
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck
I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Choose what lies in the shadows to be a matter
for discovery and adventure, rather than fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran
The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than to rule.
- Albert Einstein
It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words
but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful
than a lifetime of nothing special.
- the movie Steel Magnolias
Do you ever question why our educational system
teaches competition rather than cooperation?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear
to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat.
- Sylvester Stallone
Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart,
it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
I'd rather see the world from another angle
- Jewel
I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself,
than be crowded on a velvet cushion.
- Henry David Thoreau
Do not save your loving speeches
For your friends till they are dead;
Do not write them on their tombstones,
Speak them rather now instead.
- Anna Cummins
Self-care is critical to having a strong inner foundation.
Taking good care of YOU means the people in your life
will receive the best of you rather than what is left of you.
- Lorraine Cohen
Always question WHY you are doing something.
Is it a free-will gift or an obligation?
That which is done out of a feeling of obligation
is unworkable as a substitute for a gift.
Obligation creates a feeling of resentment on your part,
and evokes resentment rather than gratitude
on the part of the recipient.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life should not be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming, "Wow! What a Ride!"
- Hunter S. Thompson
It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died.
Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
- George S. Patton
If I seem to boast more than is becoming,
my excuse is that I brag
for humanity rather than for myself.
- Henry David Thoreau
If it is surely the means to the highest end we know,
can any work be humble or disgusting?
Will it not rather be elevating as a ladder,
the means by which we are translated?
- Henry David Thoreau
Drive into your future looking at the open road ahead
rather than into the rear-view mirror of your past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Healing does not mean going back to the way things were before,
but rather allowing what is now to move us closer to God.
- Ram Dass
We are not to give credit to the many,
who say that none ought to be educated but the free;
but rather to the philosophers,
who say that the well-educated alone are free.
- Epictetus
Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.
- Henry David Thoreau
Try not to become a man of success,
but rather try to become a man of value.
- Albert Einstein
Far from idleness being the root of all evil,
it is rather the only true good.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Make your important choices in life
based on your values and your long-term objectives
rather than on a need for approval.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Leave all the afternoon for exercise and recreation,
which are as necessary as reading.
I will rather say more necessary
because health is worth more than learning.
- Thomas Jefferson
Strive not to be a success,
but rather to be of value.
- Albert Einstein
Most everything in life is about our
point-of-view rather than any absolute.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Rather than worrying about the continuous stream of potential threats,
let us give thanks for our blessing of living in the eye-of-the-storm -
our protected refuge from the terrors
of fearsome dangers just outside our lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The difference between a successful person and others
is not a lack of strength,
not a lack of knowledge,
but rather a lack of will.
- Vince Lombardi
If I read a book that impresses me,
I have to take myself firmly in hand
before I mix with other people;
otherwise they would think my mind rather queer.
- Anne Frank
I'm always rather nervous about how you talk
about women who are active in politics,
whether they want to be talked about as women or as politicians.
- John F. Kennedy
Be a Human BEing Rather Than a Human DOing.
- Anonymous
A happy person is not a person in a
certain set of circumstances,
but rather a person with a
certain set of attitudes.
- Hugh Downs
Believe in yourself, and trust your own wisdom
rather than being swayed by the opinions of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our real problem, then, is not our strength today;
it is rather the vital necessity of action today
to ensure our strength tomorrow.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
We tend to forget that happiness doesn't
come as a result of getting something we don't have,
but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
- Frederick Koenig
Lovers embrace that which is between them
rather than each other.
- Khalil Gibran
The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis,
but rather the feeling of being unwanted.
- Mother Teresa
When will our consciences grow so tender
that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenge it?
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Destiny is not a matter of chance,
It is a matter of choice.
It is not something to be waited for,
But rather something to be achieved.
- William Jennings Bryan
Consider calling it a challenge
rather than calling it a crisis.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
If we would build on a sure foundation in friendship,
we must love our friend for their sakes
rather than for our own.
- Charlotte Bronte
The function of prayer is not to influence God,
but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Resilience is about believing in yourself,
and trusting your own wisdom rather than
being swayed by the opinions of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every creature is better alive than dead,
men and moose and pine trees,
and he who understands it aright
will rather preserve its life than destroy it.
- Henry David Thoreau
Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one's own beliefs.
Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of others.
- John F. Kennedy
Life is a journey. It is not a race to test
who can finish first or who can end up with the most loot.
Rather, life is best enjoyed as a meander -
watching the view to left and right - above and below -
as the days slowly move past in dress review.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I can only have peace of mind when I forgive rather than judge.
- Gerald Jampolsky
Courage is not the absence of fear,
but rather the judgement that something else
is more important than fear.
- Ambrose Redmoon
The true delight is in the finding out,
rather than in the knowing.
- Isaac Asimov
Would you rather be right or happy?
- A Course in Miracles
Choose rather to be strong of soul than strong of body.
- Pythagoras
I say beware of all enterprises that require new clothes,
and not rather a new wearer of clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Be careful to leave your sons well instructed rather than rich,
for the hopes of the instructed
are better than the wealth of the ignorant.
- Epictetus
And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down.
Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton
I did not wish to take a cabin passage,
but rather to go before the mast
and on the deck of the world,
for there I could best see
the moonlight amid the mountains.
I do not wish to go below now.
- Henry David Thoreau
Great leadership is not the visit of an unexpected fate
but rather a flame which is kept burning
in spite of the winds of risk and opposition.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.