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Let these funny Ass Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
EVERYONE has the right to make an ass out of themselves.
- Harold and Maude (The movie )
We can, if we get up off our ass, change the world.
- Bono
Every formula of every religion has, in this age of reason,
to submit to the acid test of reason and universal assent.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp
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Formula to live your dream:
1. Be bold. 2. Begin now, 3. No exceptions.
- William James
Success has a simple formula:
do your best, and people may like it.
- Sam Ewing
This moment! - this here-now - is forgotten
when you start thinking in terms of achieving something.
When the achieving mind arises,
you lose contact with the paradise you are in.
- Osho
What you get by achieving your goals is not as important
as what you become by achieving your goals.
- Henry David Thoreau
Believe in yourself,
in your vision for your future
and in your ability to take a small step
each day toward achieving your vision.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We come this way but once.
We can either tiptoe through life
and hope we get to death without being badly bruised
or we can live a full, complete life achieving
our goals and realizing our wildest dreams.
- Bob Proctor
Nothing can stop the man with the right
mental attitude from achieving his goal;
nothing on earth can help the man
with the wrong mental attitude.
- Thomas Jefferson
True courage is taking another small step each day
toward achieving your vision.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Not every difficult and dangerous thing
is suitable for training,
but only that which is conducive to success
in achieving the object of our effort.
- Epictetus
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks
for everything that happens to you,
knowing that every step forward is a step toward
achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.
- Brian Tracy
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
A moment without joy is an eternity of sadness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Anyone can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
- Robert Benchley
Fully experience THIS moment -
breathe in, breathe out - nothing more.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis
We have only this moment,
sparkling like a star in our hand -
and melting like a snowflake.
- Marie B. Ray
If you aren't in the moment,
you are either looking forward to uncertainty,
or back to pain and regret.
- Jim Carrey
I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw
Don't Wait!
Start on your dreams, your impulses,
your longings, your special occasions today.
Because this is your moment.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The Paradox Of Living In The Moment is -
How To Be Happy Today AND Prepare For Tomorrow
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This is our moment, this is our time.
- Bono
The moment a person forms a theory,
his imagination sees in every object
only the traits which favor that theory.
- Thomas Jefferson
The ability to be in the present moment
is a major component of mental wellness.
- Abraham Maslow
My only reason for not experiencing bliss at this very moment
is thinking about what I don't have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You must live in the present,
launch yourself on every wave,
find your eternity in each moment.
- Henry David Thoreau
The courage of life is often a less dramatic spectacle
than the courage of a final moment;
but it is no less a magnificent mixture of triumph and tragedy.
- John F. Kennedy
We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone.
Only through our love and friendship can we
create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.
- Orson Welles
The moment there is suspicion about a person's motives,
everything he does becomes tainted.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Man falls from the pursuit of the ideal
of plain living and high thinking
the moment he wants to multiply his daily wants.
Man's happiness really lies in contentment.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Our "Rainbows and Butterflies" are the small miracles of our life -
the little things that are so easy to overlook,
yet so awe inspiring when we take a moment
to notice and to pay attention.
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh,
for the touch of a hand and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you really aren't trying to get anywhere else in this moment,
patience takes care of itself.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
Were it left to me to decide whether we should
have a government without newspapers,
or newspapers without a government,
I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.
- Thomas Jefferson
Children are natural Zen masters;
their world is brand new in each and every moment.
- John Bradshaw
One cannot have a mind that is empty of all thoughts,
but one can have a mind that is content with
whatever thoughts fill it at the moment.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I do not want to foresee the future.
I am concerned with taking care of the present.
God has given me no control over the moment following.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Being wakeful in each and every moment of your life is meditation.
The simplest definition of meditation is:
when seeing, just see; when hearing, just hear.
- Josh Baran
I live in the moment, and I live joyfully.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Joy is my choice. I choose joy in every moment.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Just watch this moment, without trying to change it at all.
What is happening? What do you feel?
What do you see? What do you hear?
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way:
on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
Simply put, mindfulness is moment-to-moment non-judgmental awareness.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
I choose to create a joyful story in THIS moment.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The whole secret of existence is to have no fear.
Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one.
Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.
- The Buddha
Children are born innocent.
Before they are domesticated they live in the moment,
love without fear, and don't even think about the opinions of others.
- don Miguel Ruiz
I pray that my greatest desires will always be for
exactly what Spirit is offering me at that very moment.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Give yourself permission to allow this moment to be exactly as it is,
and allow yourself to be exactly as you are.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
Be happy for this moment.
This moment is your life.
- Anonymous
The secret of health for both mind and body
is not to mourn for the past,
nor to worry about the future,
but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.
- The Buddha
I have Gratitude for Everything
that has brought me to this moment.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The past has no power over the present moment.
- Eckhart Tolle
As your silence grows; your friendliness, your love grows;
your life becomes a moment-to-moment dance, a joy, a celebration.
- Osho
Practice moment to moment non-judgemental awareness.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
I was only the servant of my country and had I, at any moment,
failed to express her unflinching resolve to fight and conquer,
I should at once have been rightly cast aside.
- Winston Churchill
It is the quality of the moment,
not the number of days, or events, or of actors, that imports.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you are patient in one moment of anger,
you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
- Chinese Proverb
True wisdom cannot be learned in a lifetime,
but can be revealed in a moment,
for it has always lived within each and every one of us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Could you risk believing that everything
will unfold just fine if you completely let go
of all concern about everything else,
and simply are here, now - if only for a moment?
- Dmitri Bilgere
Do not dwell in the past,
do not dream of the future,
concentrate the mind on the present moment.
- The Buddha
I thank Spirit for EVERYTHING
that has brought me to this moment,
and entrust my entire being
to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I choose to feel supremely happy at this very moment.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Stay in the moment and all gifts are added
as you breathe and take inspired action.
- Joe Vitale
There is just this moment.
We are not trying to improve or to get anywhere else.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
Be avid.
Create apart from perfection.
Risk failure.
Cover your words with sweat.
Run a little
Touch excruciatingly.
Laugh until you cry.
Dance with your eyes closed.
Care.
Understand you die a little in every moment.
Be Enlivened
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The moment you start seeing life
as non-serious, a playfulness,
all the burden on your heart disappears.
All the fear of death, of life,
of love - everything disappears.
- Osho
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.