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Let these funny Anyway Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's all a game anyway, so just change the rules.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do what you feel in your heart to be right.
You'll be criticized anyway.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
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Feel the fear and do it anyway.
- Susan Jeffers
There are three rules for dating:
1) Don't;
2) If you must, just be careful;
3) Forget the rules, your hormones will win anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy
Life is all a game anyway, so just change the rules.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life just happens - enjoy it anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life will not meet your expectations -
choose joy anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Give the world the best you have
and it may never be enough.
Give the world your best anyway.
- Mother Teresa
Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway.
- John Wayne
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
- Jerome Cummings
Your friends love you anyway.
- Dave Barry
Overcome obstacles - grow and bloom anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is nearly a certainty that some
of your expectations will not be met today -
choose Joy anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Life will not meet your expectations.
Choose joy anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; ...
Forgive them anyway.
- Kent Keith
(often attributed to Mother Teresa, who kept a copy
on the wall of her orphanage)
You're just left with yourself all the time,
whatever you do anyway.
You've got to get down to your
own God in your own temple.
It's all down to you, mate.
- John Lennon
Do what you feel in your heart to be right -
for you'll be criticized anyway.
You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
"Mother Teresa Prayer"
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
... Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
... Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
... Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
... Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
... Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
... Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
... Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
... Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
We can do no great things - only small things with great love.
- although commonly attributed to Mother Teresa,
who kept a copy of this prayer on
the wall of her Calcutta orphanage,
this prayer was actually written by Kent Keith.
This life is what you make it.
Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes,
it's a universal truth.
But the good part is,
you get to decide how you're going to mess it up.
Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway.
But just remember, some come, some go.
The ones that stay with you through everything -
they're your true best friends.
Don't let go of them.
Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world.
- Marilyn Monroe
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln
Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus
Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein
Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
- Terry Pratchett
The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.