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Let these funny Alternatives Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban
In war as in life, it is often necessary
when some cherished scheme has failed,
to take up the best alternative open,
and if so, it is folly not to work for it with all your might.
- Winston Churchill
Patience is an ever present alternative
to the mind's endemic restlessness and impatience.
Scratch the surface of impatience and what you will find
lying beneath it, subtly or not so subtly, is anger.
It's the strong energy of not wanting things to be the way they are
and blaming someone (often yourself) or something for it.
This doesn't mean you can't hurry when you have to.
It is possible even to hurry patiently, mindfully,
moving fast because you have chosen to.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket
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Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein
The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln
I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill
We will not learn how to live together in peace
by killing each other's children.
- Jimmy Carter
Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering
When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore
If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart
When people speak to you about a preventive war,
you tell them to go fight it.
After my experience, I have come to hate war.
War settles nothing.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
When you have to kill a man,
it costs nothing to be polite.
- Winston Churchill
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
- Winston Churchill
We have no enemies,
we have only friendships that we haven't yet developed
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can discover what your enemy fears most
by observing the means he uses to frighten you.
- Michael Moncur
When the war of the giants is over,
the wars of the pygmies will begin.
- Winston Churchill
The problems of victory are more agreeable
than those of defeat,
but they are no less difficult.
- Winston Churchill
We prefer world law in the age of self-determination
to world war in the age of mass extermination.
- John F. Kennedy
When you are winning a war
almost everything that happens
can be claimed to be right and wise.
- Winston Churchill
The great defense against the air menace
is to attack the enemy's aircraft
as near as possible to their point of departure.
- Winston Churchill
If men can develop weapons that are so terrifying
as to make the thought of global war
include almost a sentence for suicide,
you would think that man's intelligence and his comprehension...
would include also his ability to find a peaceful solution.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
We have not yet begun to fight.
- John Paul Jones
What is human warfare but just this;
an effort to make the laws of God and
nature take sides with one party.
- Henry David Thoreau
Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory.
Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.
- Sun Tzu
We shall show mercy, but we shall not ask for it.
- Winston Churchill
The most terrible job in warfare is to be a second lieutenant
leading a platoon when you are on the battlefield.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
When you put on a uniform,
there are certain inhibitions that you accept.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
All warfare is based on deception.
- Sun Tzu
Battles are won by slaughter and maneuver.
The greater the general, the more he contributes in maneuver,
the less he demands in slaughter.
- Winston Churchill
If we take the generally accepted definition of bravery
as a quality which knows no fear, I have never seen a brave man.
All men are frightened. The more intelligent they are,
the more they are frightened.
- George S. Patton
We may never be strong enough to be entirely
nonviolent in thought, word and deed.
But we must keep nonviolence as our goal
and make strong progress towards it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.
- Winston Churchill
There should be an honest attempt at the reconciliation
of differences before resorting to combat.
- Jimmy Carter
When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Never in the field of human conflict
was so much owed by so many to so few.
- Winston Churchill
What counts is not necessarily
the size of the dog in the fight -
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower quoting Mark Twain
The expert in battle seeks his victory
from strategic advantage
and does not demand it from his men.
- Sun Tzu
The power of an air force is terrific
when there is nothing to oppose it.
- Winston Churchill
Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror,
victory however long and hard the road may be;
for without victory, there is no survival.
- Winston Churchill
To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years.
To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day.
- Winston Churchill
But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends.
- Robert E. Lee
When all you know is bombs,
everything looks like a target.
Give peace and diplomacy a chance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A bad peace is better than a good war.
- Yiddish Proverb
The limitation of riots, moral questions aside,
is that they cannot win and their participants know it.
Hence, rioting is not revolutionary but reactionary
because it invites defeat.
It involves an emotional catharsis,
but it must be followed by a sense of futility.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I can not believe that war
is the best solution.
No one won the last war,
and no one will win the next war.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
War is an instrument entirely inefficient
toward redressing wrong;
and multiplies, instead of indemnifying losses.
- Thomas Jefferson
If I am happy in spite of my deprivations,
if my happiness is so deep that it is a faith,
so thoughtful that it becomes a philosophy of life.
If, in short, I am an optimist,
my testimony to the creed of optimism is worth hearing.
- Helen Keller
...
Helen Keller (1880-1968) overcame being both deaf and blind
to become a famous author, lecturer, and activist
for women's suffrage, workers' rights, and ending war.
War will exist until that distant day
when the conscientious objector
enjoys the same reputation and prestige
that the warrior does today.
- John F. Kennedy
Men ought either to be indulged or utterly destroyed,
for if you merely offend them, they take vengeance,
but if you injure them greatly, they are unable to retaliate,
so that the injury done to a man
ought to be such that vengeance cannot be feared.
- Niccolo Machiavelli
It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war
is nothing but an act of murder.
- Albert Einstein
When I despair, I remember that all through history
the way of truth and love has always won.
There have been tyrants and murderers and
for a time they seem invincible,
but in the end, they always fall ... think of it, always.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired,
signifies in the final sense
a theft from those who hunger and are not fed,
those who are cold and are not clothed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Those who can win a war well can rarely make a good peace
and those who could make a good peace
would never have won the war.
- Winston Churchill
I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can,
only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Don't be against anything -
e.g. don't be against war, be FOR peace
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One of the greatest casualties
of the war in Vietnam is the Great Society...
shot down on the battlefield of Vietnam.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
It is not enough to say we must not wage war.
It is necessary to love peace and sacrifice for it.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Unconditional war can no longer lead to unconditional victory.
It can no longer serve to settle disputes...
can no longer be of concern to great powers alone.
- John F. Kennedy
We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be,
we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds,
we shall fight in the fields and in the streets,
we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.
- Winston Churchill
It is an unfortunate fact that we can secure peace
only by preparing for war.
- John F. Kennedy
Anyone who thinks, must think of
the next war as they would of suicide.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.