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Let these funny Advisable Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Where large sums of money are concerned,
it is advisable to trust nobody.
- Agatha Christie
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson
A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
An empty stomach is not a good political adviser.
- Albert Einstein
It is a wonderful advantage to a man,
in every pursuit or avocation,
to secure an adviser in a sensible woman.
In woman there is at once a subtle delicacy of tact,
and a plain soundness of judgement,
which are rarely combined to an equal degree in man.
A woman, if she be really your friend,
will have a sensitive regard for your character, honor, repute.
She will seldom counsel you to do a shabby thing:
for a woman friend always desires to be proud of you.
- Edward Bulwer-Lytton
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Life is empty and meaningless
because life is empty and meaningless.
- Werner Erhard
Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow...
but only empties today of its strength.
- C. H. Spurgeon
The nature of life is to be
a study of contrasts: joy/sadness, full/empty.
The Main Thing is to Keep The Main Thing The Main Thing.
- Stephen Covey
When we talk about democracy, if the people's
stomach is empty, democracy is also empty.
Democracy can not be installed by fiat;
it must be achieved by the people themselves.
- Jimmy Yen
One cannot have a mind that is empty of all thoughts,
but one can have a mind that is content with
whatever thoughts fill it at the moment.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Overflowing Cup of Tea:
The Zen Master poured his visitor's teacup full, and then kept pouring.
The visitor watched until he could no longer restrain himself.
"It is overfull. No more will go in!"
"Like this cup," the Zen Master said,
"you are full of your own opinions and assumptions.
How can you learn truth until you first empty your cup?"
- Traditional Zen Koan
Today, like every other day, we wake up empty
and frightened. Don't open the door to the study
and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.
- Rumi (Persian poet 1207-1273)
Man can never know the kind of loneliness a woman knows.
Man lies in a woman's womb only to gather strength,
he nourishes himself from this fusion,
and then he rises and goes into the world,
into his work, into battle, into art.
He is not lonely. He is busy.
The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion.
The woman may be busy too, but she feels empty.
Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure
in which she has bathed,
and a charge of electric joy at contact with another.
When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled,
each act of love a a taking of man within her,
an act of birth and rebirth, of child-bearing and man-bearing.
Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew
with a desire to act, to BE.
But for woman, the climax is not in the birth,
but in the moment the man rests inside of her.
- Anais Nin
The Moon Cannot Be Stolen:
A thief entered the little hut of a Zen Master,
but discovered there was nothing to steal.
The Zen Master discovered the thief.
"You have come a long way to visit me," he told the prowler,
"and you should not return empty-handed.
Please take my clothes as a gift."
The thief was bewildered,
but he took the clothes and slunk away.
The Zen Master sat naked, watching the moon.
"Poor fellow," he mused,
"I wish I could have given him this beautiful moon."
- Traditional Zen Koan
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Gossip is the art of saying nothing
in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.
- Walter Winchell
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen
I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
- the movie The Rescuers Down Under
Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde
Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau
There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
- Helen Keller
Nothing in life is to be feared.
It is only to be understood.
- Marie Curie
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer
Manners require time, and nothing is more vulgar than haste.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
The Christian missionary may preach the gospel
to the poor naked heathen,
but the spiritual heathen who populate Europe
have as yet heard nothing of Christianity.
- Carl Jung
A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.
- George Bernard Shaw
Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing is as good for the soul as a marshmallow roast.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
- John Lennon
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
Fully experience THIS moment -
breathe in, breathe out - nothing more.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke
Don't Take Anything Personally.
Nothing others do is because of you.
- Miguel Angel Ruiz (don Miguel Ruiz)
Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor
I say NO to the demands of the world.
I say YES to the longings of my own heart.
There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing,
of just going along,
listening to all the things you can't hear,
and not bothering.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear.
- Albert Camus
I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful
than a lifetime of nothing special.
- the movie Steel Magnolias
There is nothing more uncommon than common sense.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.
- Elbert Hubbard
When one has nothing to lose, one becomes courageous.
We are timid only when
there is something we can still cling to.
- Carlos Castaneda
Stress is nothing more than a
socially acceptable form of mental illness.
- Richard Carlson
Regrets and resentments cause great suffering but fix nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Trust in the Light.
Darkness is not a force -
it is merely the absence of light.
Observe that when a light is brought to a dark place,
the darkness disappears.
Sadness is similar -
when joy is brought to suffering,
the sadness disappears.
Open yourself to the Light!
Hold back nothing,
Trust in the Light.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood.
Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.
- Marie Curie
Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.
- Alexander Hamilton
I was born on the prairies where the wind blew free
and there was nothing to break the light of the sun.
I was born where there were no enclosures.
- Geronimo
Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.
- Paul Tournier
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.