Facebook share Tweet This Email this
If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Anger spells dANGER.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It takes a big cat to be number 2.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today, I Tap Dance Across The Stage of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Magic is natural to Wizards,
and only a little harder for the rest of us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
How do you want to be remembered?
Live life full out - Begin today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I wish you a tea and jammies kind of day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like a roller coaster - scream Whee... on the way down,
and let the momentum carry you back up the next hill.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Hero needed - apply now -
open minded independent thinker -
courage preferred.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I wish you a magical white rabbit kind of day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Self confident independent thinker -
sounds like the makings of a hero.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It would be insane for me to
lose sleep over the opinions of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's just random chance, baby; get used to it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A moment without joy is an eternity of sadness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This being grown up isn't all it's cracked up to be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Gossip and complaint are the underbelly of low conversation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
How does so much gossip fit in such small minds?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
God Loves an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
So does Your Mother.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The simple life is everything Vogue isn't.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The ad agency's name for Hell is "Las Vegas."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Know that the greatest fear is fear of the unknown.
Seek to meet the unknown with courage and a sense of adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Choose to be as a young child -
fully awake, eager for the next experience.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Choose to soar. Choose to fly your dreams.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Watch out, I have a Magic Wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You wanna know the meaning of life?
Fugedaboudit - It ain't happnin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When life is like a slippery downhill slope,
go skiing and scream Whee... all the way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You may as well laugh at life,
because it's certainly laughing at you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Regrets are the tears of good deeds left undone
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am a self-centered spoiled-rotten brat,
Thank you for nurturing me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I wish you a rainbows and butterflies kind of day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be Deliciously Naughty.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The believer's ray of light is the cynic's sunburn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Vengeance: "It's your fault; you must pay; you must bleed."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing is as good for the soul as a marshmallow roast.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Just remember, after they foreclose on your mortgage,
you get a lot more sunshine in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The answer is twelve monkeys, what's the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today, I am Sending My Monkey Mind to the Zoo.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Laugh at Life - it's certainly laughing at you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This is your day to Laugh at Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thinking is what most people resort to after all else fails.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's foggy and it's gray - let's play.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Choose what lies in the shadows to be a matter
for discovery and adventure, rather than fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Keep Searching for the Rabbit-Hole with the Magical White Rabbit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Grit ruins clam chowder,
but enhances your character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Why wait until you're dead,
when you can create your own Hell right here and now.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I ride my blue polka-dot horse through the byways of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thank you for visiting: If we were meant to be happy, by Jonathan Lockwood Huie.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.