Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


People often say that motivation doesn't last.
by Zig Ziglar

People often say that motivation doesn't last.
Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.
- Zig Ziglar

Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar

Your attitude determines your altitude.
- Zig Ziglar

Positive thinking will let you do everything
better than negative thinking will.
- Zig Ziglar


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


You can have anything you want in life if you
just help enough other people get what they want.
- Zig Ziglar

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde


 

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr

Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous

The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
- Mark Twain

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry

Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Thinking is what most people resort to after all else fails.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert,
to fleece the people.
- Abraham Lincoln

Most people's historical perspective
begins with the day of their birth.
- Rush Limbaugh

Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.
- Albert Schweitzer

I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz

Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

Unless they share our opinions,
we seldom find people sensible.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams

Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Don Marquis

People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow

The whole problem with the world is that
fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves,
but wiser people so full of doubts.
- Bertrand Russell

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
- Anonymous

People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

The most important service rendered
by the press and the magazines
is that of educating people
to approach printed matter with distrust.
- Samuel Butler

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

Always do the right thing.
It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

Most of what we call management consists of
making it difficult for people to get their work done.
- Peter F. Drucker

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield

History is the version of past events
that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people
by the people for the people.
- Oscar Wilde

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand,
and without examination
- Mark Twain

Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder

You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott

People living their lives for you on TV;
They say they're better than you, and you agree.
- Jewel

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov


Thank you for visiting: People often say that motivation doesn't last. by Zig Ziglar.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.