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There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall 
You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen
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You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
for cheating on my metaphysics final ...
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream.
I'll be out in a minute.
- the Woody Allen movie What's New Pussycat
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
The food at this place is really terrible ...
and such small portions.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen
Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen
The lion and the calf shall lie down together,
but the calf won't get much sleep.
- Woody Allen
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
- the Woody Allen movie Manhattan (1979)
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have,
instead of what you don't have.
- Woody Allen
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
- Woody Allen
I have a very pessimistic view of life.
You should know this about me if we're gonna go out.
You know, I - I feel that life is -
is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Those are the two categories, you know.
The - the horrible would be like, um,
I don't know, terminal cases, you know,
and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life.
It's amazing to me. You know, and the miserable is everyone else.
That's - that's - so - so - when you go through life -
you should be thankful that you're miserable
because you're very lucky to be miserable.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
- the movie The Rescuers Down Under
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde
Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley
Gossip is the art of saying nothing
in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.
- Walter Winchell
Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Nothing is as good for the soul as a marshmallow roast.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing in life is to be feared.
It is only to be understood.
- Marie Curie
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
Manners require time, and nothing is more vulgar than haste.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
- Helen Keller
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
The Christian missionary may preach the gospel
to the poor naked heathen,
but the spiritual heathen who populate Europe
have as yet heard nothing of Christianity.
- Carl Jung
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
- John Lennon
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.
- George Bernard Shaw
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke
Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor
"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha
Don't Take Anything Personally.
Nothing others do is because of you.
- Miguel Angel Ruiz (don Miguel Ruiz)
I say NO to the demands of the world.
I say YES to the longings of my own heart.
There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Fully experience THIS moment -
breathe in, breathe out - nothing more.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing,
of just going along,
listening to all the things you can't hear,
and not bothering.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Nothing is so firmly believed as what is least known.
- Michel de Montaigne
There is nothing more uncommon than common sense.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.