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I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde 
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
- Oscar Wilde
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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde
In all matters of opinion,
our adversaries are insane.
- Oscar Wilde
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
- Oscar Wilde
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
I am so clever that sometimes I don't
understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is far too important a thing
ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people
by the people for the people.
- Oscar Wilde
Familiarity breeds consent.
- Oscar Wilde
I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
By giving us the opinions of the uneducated,
journalism keeps us in touch
with the ignorance of the community.
- Oscar Wilde
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
- Oscar Wilde
Hatred is blind, as well as love.
- Oscar Wilde
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live,
it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
- Oscar Wilde
Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.
- Oscar Wilde
Who, being loved, is poor?
- Oscar Wilde
A mask tells us more than a face.
- Oscar Wilde
The value of an idea has nothing whatsoever
to do with the sincerity of the man who expresses it.
- Oscar Wilde
Everything popular is wrong.
- Oscar Wilde
An idea that is not dangerous is
unworthy of being called an idea at all.
- Oscar Wilde
Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship,
and it is far the best ending for one.
- Oscar Wilde
Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend,
but it requires a very fine nature
to sympathize with a friend's success.
- Oscar Wilde
A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.
- Oscar Wilde
I always like to know everything about my new friends,
and nothing about my old ones.
- Oscar Wilde
The smallest act of kindness
is worth more than the grandest intention.
- Oscar Wilde
If a friend of mine gave a feast, and did not invite me to it,
I should not mind a bit.
but if a friend of mine had a sorrow
and refused to allow me to share it,
I should feel it most bitterly.
If he shut the doors of the house of mourning against me,
I would move back again and again and beg to be admitted
so that I might share in what I was entitled to share.
If he thought me unworthy, unfit to weep with him,
I should feel it as the most poignant humiliation.
- Oscar Wilde
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.