Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard
Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard
The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard 
Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard
One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard
To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.
- Elbert Hubbard
Our desires always disappoint us;
for though we meet with something that gives us satisfaction,
yet it never thoroughly answers our expectation.
- Elbert Hubbard
Life in abundance comes only through great love.
- Elbert Hubbard
A little more persistence,
a little more effort, and
what seemed hopeless failure
may turn to glorious success.
- Elbert Hubbard
Dignity is a mask we wear to hide our ignorance.
- Elbert Hubbard
The sculptor produces the beautiful statue
by chipping away such parts of the marble block as are not needed -
it is a process of elimination.
- Elbert Hubbard
Friendship, like credit, is highest when it is not used.
- Elbert Hubbard
If you have health, you probably will be happy,
and if you have health and happiness,
you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want.
- Elbert Hubbard
Your friend is the man who knows all about you,
and still likes you.
- Elbert Hubbard
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
It's not a mess.
It's a physical manifestation of
a wonderfully complex ability to
assess and compartmentalize information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson
As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein
The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin
Thank you for visiting: Do not take life too seriously. by Elbert Hubbard.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.