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The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter
Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter 
Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.
- Laurence J. Peter
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Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
Facts are stubborn things,
but statistics are more pliable.
- Laurence J. Peter
There are two kinds of failures:
those who thought and never did,
and those who did and never thought.
- Laurence J. Peter
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung
It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.