Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache. ...
by Mae West

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel


 

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West

A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West

Love isn't an emotion or an instinct - it's an art.
- Mae West

Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West

Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous

Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato

Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

Know the power and the peace of saying,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin

Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore

I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Love is the flower you've got to let grow.
- John Lennon

He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous

You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart

To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz

We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past,
but by the love we're not extending in the present.
- Marianne Williamson

Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- Anonymous

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb


Thank you for visiting: Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache. ... by Mae West.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.