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If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous 
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
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The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous
I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- Anonymous
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
Confucius might have said:
Once frightened, twice smelly in armpit.
- Anonymous humor
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
- Anonymous
Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.
- Anonymous
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
Where there's a will, there's a way.
- old English proverb
Some days you're the dog,
and some days you're the hydrant.
- Anonymous
A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous
God doesn't make junk.
- Anonymous
Hang tough... big girl panties today.
- Anonymous humor
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous
Computers happen.
- Anonymous
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
The road to success is always under construction.
- Anonymous
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves
for they shall never cease to be amused.
- Anonymous
You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous
Forget love... I'd rather fall in chocolate.
- Anonymous
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb
Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
- Anonymous
Those who have free seats at a play hiss first.
- Chinese Proverb
When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor
The light at the end of the tunnel
may be an oncoming train.
- Anonymous
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
Only dead fish swim with the stream.
- Anonymous
A meowing cat can't catch mice.
- Yiddish Proverb
If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous
Chanting OM is sort of like MOOing backward.
- Anonymous
The early bird gets the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- Anonymous
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
- Anonymous
The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
- Anonymous
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Anonymous
Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly,
usually for the same reason.
- Anonymous
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
- Anonymous
Join the army. Visit strange and exotic places.
Meet fascinating people. And kill them.
- Anonymous
I love my attitude problem.
- Anonymous
Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous
Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous
Whenever I find the key to success,
someone changes the lock.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.