Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
by As Good As It Gets

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain PHOTO

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous PHOTO

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen


 

If he's first class, I'm traveling steerage.
- the movie Libeled Lady (1936)

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer

After the first blush of sin, comes its indifference.
- Henry David Thoreau

Getting fired is nature's way to telling you
that you had the wrong job in the first place.
- Hal Lancaster

The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
- W. C. Fields

Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.
- Anonymous

We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Get the facts first.
You can distort them later.
- Mark Twain

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

Those who have free seats at a play hiss first.
- Chinese Proverb

Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Faith is taking the first step,
even when you don't see the whole staircase.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Seek first to understand,
then to be understood.
- Stephen Covey

Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland

To climb steep hills requires a slow pace at first.
- William Shakespeare

When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
- Anonymous

Apathy, indifference, not caring...
It may sound insensitive for me to say, "I don't care,"
but ask first to what I am indifferent.
I choose to be caring, compassionate
and kind toward all people,
and I also choose to be indifferent to gossip,
petty complaints, and idle chatter.
About those, I just don't care.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All things at first appear difficult.
- Chinese proverb

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

The first quality that is needed is audacity.
- Winston Churchill

Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first
and the lessons afterwards.
- Anonymous

Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid

Take a deep breath and do the difficult thing first.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you,
then they fight you, then you win.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Lovers who have been left, lose confidence and become afraid.
They learn to leave relationships first.
The broken hearted become the heart breakers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

During the first period of a man's life
the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Non-violence is the first article of my faith.
It is also the last article of my creed.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Recognizing my blindness is the first step
toward regaining my sight.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In order to succeed, you must first be willing to fail.
- Anonymous

Life is a journey. It is not a race to test
who can finish first or who can end up with the most loot.
Rather, life is best enjoyed as a meander -
watching the view to left and right - above and below -
as the days slowly move past in dress review.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are two things to aim at in life:
first, to get what you want,
and after that to to enjoy it.
- Logan Pearsall Smith

Put on your own oxygen mask first.
- Airline companies

Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities...
because it is the quality which guarantees all others.
- Winston Churchill

If we could first know where we are,
and whither we are tending,
we could then better judge what to do,
and how to do it.
- Abraham Lincoln

We first make our habits, then our habits make us.
- John Dryden

First say to yourself what you would be;
then do what you have to do.
- Epictetus

Do first things first, and second things not at all.
- Peter F. Drucker

A little simplification would be
the first step toward rational living.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

It is the first law of friendship
that it has to be cultivated.
The second is to be indulgent
when the first law is neglected.
- Voltaire

Today, I Do What Is Important To Me, First.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be gentle first with yourself -
if you wish to be gentle with others.
- Lama Yeshe

In my country we go to prison first, and then become President.
- Nelson Mandela

The indispensable first step to getting
the things you want out of life is this:
Decide what you want.
- Ben Stein

If there is anything that we wish to change in the child,
we should first examine it and see whether it is
not something that could better be changed in ourselves.
- Carl Jung

Today is the first and last day of forever.
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
The secret of getting started is
breaking your complex overwhelming tasks
into small manageable tasks,
and starting on the first one.
- Mark Twain

"Think simple" as my old master used to say -
meaning reduce the whole of its parts
into the simplest terms,
getting back to first principles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Self-trust is the first secret of success.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak.
- Epictetus

Let him that would move the world first move himself.
- Socrates

It is usually the imagination that is wounded first,
rather than the heart; it being much more sensitive.
- Henry David Thoreau

The first step in the evolution of ethics
is a sense of solidarity with other human beings.
- Albert Schweitzer


Thank you for visiting: When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome. by As Good As It Gets.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.