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Let these funny Tony Dorsett Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
To succeed, you need to find
something to hold on to,
something to motivate you,
something to inspire you.
- Tony Dorsett
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
It is only in adventure that some people
succeed in knowing themselves -
in finding themselves.
- Andre Gide
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If at first you don't succeed, try try again.
- Proverb
A man can succeed at almost anything
for which he has unlimited enthusiasm.
- Charles M. Schwab
It is no use saying, "We are doing our best."
You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary.
- Winston Churchill
Intent is what can make a man succeed
when his thoughts tell him that he is defeated.
- Carlos Castaneda
If a warrior is to succeed at anything,
the success must come gently,
with a great deal of effort but with no stress or obsession.
- Carlos Castaneda
Men are born to succeed, not to fail.
- Henry David Thoreau
Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed
is more important than any other one thing.
- Abraham Lincoln
If you wish to succeed in life,
make perseverance your bosom friend,
experience your wise counselor,
caution your elder brother,
and hope your guardian genius.
- Joseph Addison
God doesn't require us to succeed;
He only requires that you try.
- Mother Teresa
People rarely succeed unless they
have fun in what they are doing.
- Dale Carnegie
People in their handlings of affairs
often fail when they are about to succeed.
If one remains as careful at the end
as he was at the beginning,
there will be no failure.
- Lao Tzu
Our greatest weakness lies in giving up.
The most certain way to succeed
is always to try just one more time.
- Thomas A. Edison
In the struggle for survival,
the fittest win out at the expense of their rivals
because they succeed in adapting
themselves best to their environment.
- Charles Darwin
Public sentiment is everything.
With public sentiment, nothing can fail.
Without it, nothing can succeed.
- Abraham Lincoln
Nature is trying very hard to make us succeed,
but nature does not depend on us.
We are not the only experiment.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
In order to succeed, you must first be willing to fail.
- Anonymous
By not caring too much about what people think,
I'm able to think for myself
and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular.
And I succeed.
- Albert Ellis
Can you achieve your goals?
You can't reach your goal if you haven't
defined your goals.
And you can't succeed if you don't try -
and then pick yourself up
and try again each time you fail.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true.
I am not bound to succeed,
but I am bound to live by the light that I have.
I must stand with anybody that stands right,
and stand with him while he is right,
and part with him when he goes wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln
Why should we be in such desperate haste to succeed,
and in such desperate enterprises?
If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
- Henry David Thoreau
"Mother Teresa Prayer"
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
... Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
... Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
... Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
... Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
... Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
... Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
... Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
... Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
We can do no great things - only small things with great love.
- although commonly attributed to Mother Teresa,
who kept a copy of this prayer on
the wall of her Calcutta orphanage,
this prayer was actually written by Kent Keith.
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain 
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
If he's first class, I'm traveling steerage.
- the movie Libeled Lady (1936)
The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Getting fired is nature's way to telling you
that you had the wrong job in the first place.
- Hal Lancaster
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi
Get the facts first.
You can distort them later.
- Mark Twain
Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
- W. C. Fields
Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.
- Anonymous
Those who have free seats at a play hiss first.
- Chinese Proverb
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
After the first blush of sin, comes its indifference.
- Henry David Thoreau
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
- Anonymous
Apathy, indifference, not caring...
It may sound insensitive for me to say, "I don't care,"
but ask first to what I am indifferent.
I choose to be caring, compassionate
and kind toward all people,
and I also choose to be indifferent to gossip,
petty complaints, and idle chatter.
About those, I just don't care.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland
Seek first to understand,
then to be understood.
- Stephen Covey
Faith is taking the first step,
even when you don't see the whole staircase.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
To climb steep hills requires a slow pace at first.
- William Shakespeare
All things at first appear difficult.
- Chinese proverb
Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore
During the first period of a man's life
the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
- Soren Kierkegaard
The first quality that is needed is audacity.
- Winston Churchill
BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler
Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first
and the lessons afterwards.
- Anonymous
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you,
then they fight you, then you win.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Take a deep breath and do the difficult thing first.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid
Lovers who have been left, lose confidence and become afraid.
They learn to leave relationships first.
The broken hearted become the heart breakers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be gentle first with yourself.
- Lama Yeshe
"Think simple" as my old master used to say -
meaning reduce the whole of its parts
into the simplest terms,
getting back to first principles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
All truth passes through three stages:
First, it is ridiculed;
Second, it is violently opposed;
Third, it is accepted as self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.