Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Timothy Leary Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
Think for yourself and question authority.
- Timothy Leary
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer 
If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein
What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller
Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
If you can't annoy somebody with what you write,
I think there's little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death
Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong
The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein
I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank
No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt
Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie
Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The function of education is to teach one
to think intensively and to think critically.
Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Our brain is the factory of the emotions
- don Miguel Ruiz
The value of a principle is the number of things it will explain.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We shall require a substantially
new manner of thinking
if mankind is to survive.
- Albert Einstein
You must do the thing that you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
To kill an error is as good a service as,
and sometimes even better than,
the establishing of a new truth or fact.
- Charles Darwin
I don't know if we each have a destiny,
or if we're all just floatin' around accidental-like on a breeze.
But I, I think maybe it's both.
- the movie Forrest Gump
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz
I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau
The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
- Publilius Syrus
We must dare to think "unthinkable" thoughts.
- J. W. Fulbright
Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach
Suffering is everywhere. Don't ever think it isn't.
So are miracles. Don't ever think they aren't.
- Jewel
The very nature of the world is constant change.
You set a goal and create a plan to achieve it;
then the assumptions on which you
based your plan change - they always do.
The challenge is to retain your goals
while adapting your tactics.
Relax and stay flexible in order to reach
your goals and maintain your happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell
If a problem cannot be solved, enlarge it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
People hardly ever make use of the freedom which they have,
for example, freedom of thought;
instead they demand freedom of speech as a compensation.
- Soren Kierkegaard
The most erroneous stories are those
we think we know best -
and therefore never scrutinize or question.
- Stephen Jay Gould
The most important thing about Spaceship Earth -
an instruction book didn't come with it.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Thank you for visiting: Timothy Leary Quotes - Funny Quotes by Timothy Leary.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.