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Let these funny Thomas J. Watson Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
Don't make friends who are comfortable to be with.
Make friends who will force you to lever yourself up.
- Thomas J. Watson Sr.
If you stand up and be counted,
from time to time you may get yourself knocked down.
But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can get up again.
A man flattened by conformity stays down for good.
- Thomas J. Watson
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
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Go ahead, make my day.
- the movie Sudden Impact (1983)
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
EVERYONE has the right to make an ass out of themselves.
- Harold and Maude (The movie )
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
- the movie The Rescuers Down Under
Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston
I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel
God doesn't make junk.
- Anonymous
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter 
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln
I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
- Douglas Adams
Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov
The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard
I always arrive late at the office,
but I make up for it by leaving early.
- Charles Lamb
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
You have to be a bastard to make it, and that's a fact.
And the Beatles are the biggest bastards on earth.
- John Lennon
Human beings must have action;
and they will make it if they cannot find it.
- Albert Einstein
If you want to make enemies,
try to change something.
- Woodrow Wilson
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar
People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin
If Hitler invaded hell
I would make at least a favorable reference
to the devil in the House of Commons.
- Winston Churchill
Lord, where we are wrong,
make us willing to change;
where we are right,
make us easy to live with.
- Peter Marshall
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you want to make peace with your enemy,
you have to work with your enemy.
Then he becomes your partner.
- Nelson Mandela
What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill
Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran
Curiosity takes courage.
The most important promises are the ones you make to yourself.
Pay Attention.
Appreciate. Listen. Imagine.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I make it a policy to try never to
make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way.
After all, there's always all kinds of new ways
to make a complete idiot of myself.
Why repeat the old ones?
- Margot Dalton
Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy
The fastest way to destroy love
is to make a goal out of it,
because people who are trying to be loved
come from a place that they're not loved.
- Werner Erhard
Make your "yes" mean yes,
and your "no" mean no.
- John Wooden
Make the most of yourself,
for that is all there is of you.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day;
live life to the fullest;
make the most of what you have.
It is later than you think.
- Horace
God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.
- William Shakespeare
Begin to define for ourselves
what it is to make a healthy choice.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
We will either find a way or make one.
- Hannibal
I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller
Make Today count. Today - each Today -
is the most important day of your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every mind must make its choice
between truth and repose.
It cannot have both.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Make the most of your regrets;
never smother your sorrow,
but tend and cherish it till it comes to have
a separate and integral interest.
To regret deeply is to live afresh.
- Henry David Thoreau
Pain is what the world inflicts upon us.
Suffering is our emotional reaction when we fail
to make the difficult conscious choice to choose Joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Make a conscious choice to live
a serene and stress-free life.
Stress is always waiting just outside your door
like a vicious wild-dog.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
At the end of a matter ask,
"What will I learn from this to make me better?"
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Until you make the unconscious conscious,
it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
- Carl Jung
The goal of life is
to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe,
to match your nature with Nature.
- Joseph Campbell
Don't make assumptions.
- don Miguel Ruiz
No amount of self-improvement can make up
for a lack of self-acceptance.
- Anonymous
Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
- Carl Bard
Doing an injury puts you below your enemy;
revenging one make you but even with him;
forgiving it sets you above him.
- Benjamin Franklin [attributed]
Humans make illogical decisions.
- Spock (character in Star Trek movies and TV shows)
Well-behaved women seldom make history.
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
I have found out that though the ways in which
I can make myself useful are few,
yet the work open to me is endless.
- Helen Keller
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.