Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


The Bridge On The River Kwai Quotes
Funny Quotes by The Bridge On The River Kwai

Let these funny The Bridge On The River Kwai Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand PHOTO

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer PHOTO

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain PHOTO

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999) PHOTO


 

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

A ship in harbor is safe -
but that is not what ships are for.
- John A. Shedd

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill

I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau

Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson

When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus

Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard

Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France

It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln


Thank you for visiting: The Bridge On The River Kwai Quotes - Funny Quotes by The Bridge On The River Kwai.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.