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Stephen King Quotes
Funny Quotes by Stephen King

Let these funny Stephen King Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

Get busy living or get busy dying.
- Stephen King

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon PHOTO


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Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

Beware the barrenness of a busy life.
- Socrates PHOTO

Happiness walks on busy feet.
- Kitte Turmell PHOTO


 

Keep busy - with tasks that inspire you,
motivate you, or please you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A man too busy to take care of his health is like
a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.
- Spanish Proverb

Inaction breeds doubt and fear.
Action breeds confidence and courage.
If you want to conquer fear,
do not sit home and think about it.
Go out and get busy.
- Dale Carnegie

Whenever you are asked if you can do a job,
tell 'em, Certainly I Can. -
and get busy and find out how to do it.
- Theodore Roosevelt

In times of great stress or adversity,
it's always best to keep busy,
to plow your anger and your energy
into something positive.
- Lee Iacocca

Success usually comes to those
who are too busy to be looking for it.
- Henry David Thoreau

Wonder what opportunities you pass, unwittingly,
because your hands are so busy clasping
what you think you have always known.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Let the refining and improving of your own life
keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

He who is too busy doing good
finds no time to be good.
- Rabindranath Tagore

It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants.
The question is: What are we busy about?
- Henry David Thoreau

To say "too busy" is merely
to say "confused priorities."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One of the greatest titles we can have is "old friend."
We never appreciate how important old friends are until we are older.
The problem is we need to start our old friendships when we are young.
We then have to nurture and grow those friendships over our middle age
when a busy life and changing geographies
can cause us to neglect those friends.
Today is the day to invest in those people
we hope will call us "old friend" in the years to come.
- Grant Fairley

Man can never know the kind of loneliness a woman knows.
Man lies in a woman's womb only to gather strength,
he nourishes himself from this fusion,
and then he rises and goes into the world,
into his work, into battle, into art.
He is not lonely. He is busy.
The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion.
The woman may be busy too, but she feels empty.
Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure
in which she has bathed,
and a charge of electric joy at contact with another.
When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled,
each act of love a a taking of man within her,
an act of birth and rebirth, of child-bearing and man-bearing.
Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew
with a desire to act, to BE.
But for woman, the climax is not in the birth,
but in the moment the man rests inside of her.
- Anais Nin

Each of us is of infinite value,
and each of us has the ability to make
a profound difference in the lives we touch.
We leave our most profoundly positive impact
on those around us by the nature of our lives
and the example we set -
not by how busy we are,
or how important we believe we are.
Setting an example of being loving, relaxed and joyful,
regardless of external circumstances,
is a great legacy for our family and for the world.
Self importance - ego - is not a path to happiness.
Focusing one's whole life on responsibilities,
without taking time for self-renewal and play,
abandons the joy and the true value of life.
I want my tombstone to read, "Inspired others,"
rather than, "Never missed a day at the office."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall PHOTO

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Frankly, I'm too scared to ask about the frog.
- the movie Tangled (2010)

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

Serious illness doesn't bother me for long
because I am too inhospitable a host.
- Albert Schweitzer

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

Money often costs too much.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

Life is far too important a thing
ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde

God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
- Voltaire

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

It was impossible to get a conversation going,
everybody was talking too much.
- Yogi Berra

Rules are mostly made to be broken
and are too often for the lazy to hide behind.
- Douglas MacArthur

Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion
without the discomfort of thought.
- John F. Kennedy

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda

I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack
that life is extinct on other planets
because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- John F. Kennedy

The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

Too clever is dumb.
- Ogden Nash

Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You are never too old to set another goal
or to dream a new dream.
- C. S. Lewis

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous

In the long history of humankind (and animal-kind, too)
those who learned to collaborate and
improvise most effectively have prevailed.
- Charles Darwin

I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

We are afraid to care too much, for fear
that the other person does not care at all.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

No matter what happens, someone will find a way
to take it too seriously.
- Dave Barry

The chains of habit are too weak to be felt
until they are too strong to be broken.
- Samuel Johnson

This too, shall pass.
- Bible

Genius always finds itself a century too early.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life is too short, time is too precious,
and the stakes are too high
to dwell on what might have been.
- Hilary Clinton

It is a mistake to look too far ahead.
Only one link in the chain of destiny
can be handled at a time.
- Winston Churchill

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.
- Alfred Adler

Intense feeling too often obscures the truth.
- Harry S. Truman

I am mortified to be told that, in the United States of America,
the sale of a book can become a subject of inquiry,
and of criminal inquiry too.
- Thomas Jefferson

"I wonder what Piglet is doing," thought Pooh.
"I wish I were there to be doing it, too."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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