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Let these funny Robert Fulghum. Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
When we find someone whose weirdness
is compatible with ours,
we join up with them and fall into
mutually satisfying weirdness -
and call it love - true love.
- Robert Fulghum.
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner 
Don't expect me to get excited over
another damn thing we need to find.
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010)
Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
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The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2
Unless they share our opinions,
we seldom find people sensible.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
Human beings must have action;
and they will make it if they cannot find it.
- Albert Einstein
Don't die with your music still inside you.
Listen to your intuitive inner voice
and find what passion stirs your soul.
- Wayne Dyer
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
Whenever I find the key to success,
someone changes the lock.
- Anonymous
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie"
until you can find a rock.
- Will Rogers
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar
If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.
- Mo Udall
Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One of the annoying things about believing in free will
and individual responsibility is the difficulty
of finding somebody to blame your problems on.
And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable
how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.
- P. J. O'Rourke
I find that he is happiest
of whom the world says least, good or bad.
- Thomas Jefferson
What old people say you cannot do,
you try and find that you can.
Old deeds for old people, and new deeds for new.
- Henry David Thoreau
We will either find a way or make one.
- Hannibal
The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase:
if you pursue happiness you'll never find it.
- C. P. Snow
It hurts to love someone
and not be loved in return,
but what is more painful is to love
someone and never find the courage
to let that person know how you feel.
- Anonymous
Remain calm, serene, always in command of yourself.
You will then find out how easy it is to get along.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone -
but paradoxically, if we cannot trust,
neither can we find love or joy.
- Walter Anderson
No matter what happens, someone will find a way
to take it too seriously.
- Dave Barry
You cannot teach a man anything;
you can only help him find it within himself.
- Galileo Galilei
When men destroy their old gods,
they will find new ones to take their place.
- Pearl S. Buck
When we try to pick out anything by itself,
we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.
- John Muir
If we will be quiet and ready enough,
we shall find compensation in every disappointment.
- Henry David Thoreau
Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished:
If you're alive, it isn't.
- Richard Bach
When you find your path, you must not be afraid.
You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes.
Disappointment, defeat, and despair are
the tools God uses to show us the way.
- Paulo Coelho
Until he extends the circle of
his compassion to all living things,
man will not himself find peace.
- Albert Schweitzer
What we seek we shall find; what we flee from flees from us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
- Lewis Carroll
If you look for the bad in people
expecting to find it, you surely will.
- Abraham Lincoln
The more we know about how we lost
our spontaneous wonder and creativity,
the more we can find ways to get them back.
- John Bradshaw
We were given:
Two hands to hold.
Two legs to walk.
Two eyes to see.
Two ears to listen.
But why only one heart?
Because the other was given to someone else.
For us to find.
- Anonymous
We shall find peace. We shall hear angels.
We shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds.
- Anton Chekhov
When I find that I can't accept what is happening,
I turn my attention to accepting my non-acceptance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can not find happiness by chasing after it.
Happiness comes from doing what you love to do,
and from being who you truly are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged
to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
- Nelson Mandela
I Find A Magical White Bunny In Every Rabbit Hole.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves
come when life seems most challenging.
- Joseph Campbell
You must live in the present,
launch yourself on every wave,
find your eternity in each moment.
- Henry David Thoreau
If you are possessed by an idea,
you will find it expressed everywhere,
you even smell it.
- Thomas Mann
The heart of a mother is a deep abyss
at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.
- Honore de Balzac
Find a place inside where there's joy,
and the joy will burn out the pain.
- Joseph Campbell
Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful,
we must carry it with us or we find it not.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you are walking to seek, ye shall find.
- Sommeil Liberosensa
Find ecstasy in life;
the mere sense of living is joy enough.
- Emily Dickinson
Know that to find comfort, relax into the arms of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Find your way with the certain and gentle light of forgiveness.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Great men or men of great gifts
you shall easily find,
but symmetrical men never.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
There is nothing more tragic than to find an individual
bogged down in the length of life, devoid of breadth.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Three Rules of Work:
Out of clutter find simplicity;
From discord find harmony;
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
- Albert Einstein
One way or another, we all have to find
what best fosters the flowering of our humanity
in this contemporary life,
and dedicate ourselves to that.
- Joseph Campbell
If you look into your own heart,
and you find nothing wrong there,
what is there to worry about?
What is there to fear?
- Confucius
Do not seek to bring things to pass
in accordance with your wishes,
but wish for them as they are,
and you will find them.
- Epictetus
Stand up to your obstacles
and do something about them.
You will find that they haven't
half the strength you think they have.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Whenever you are asked if you can do a job,
tell 'em, Certainly I Can. -
and get busy and find out how to do it.
- Theodore Roosevelt
In my friend, I find a second self.
- Isabel Norton
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority,
it is time to pause and reflect.
- Mark Twain
Your task is not to seek for love,
but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself
that you have built against it.
- A Course In Miracles (commonly misattributed to Rumi)
I find that the harder I work,
the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson
If you have found your truth within yourself
there is nothing more in this whole existence to find.
- Osho
If you seek truth, you will not seek
victory by dishonorable means,
and if you find truth, you will become invincible.
- Epictetus
No one can find inner peace except by working,
not in a self-centered way, but for the whole human family.
- Peace Pilgrim
Your sacred space is where you can
find yourself again and again.
- Joseph Campbell
You will never find time for anything.
If you want time you must make it.
- Charles Buxton
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.