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Let these funny Rainer Maria Rilke Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
A person isn't who they are during
the last conversation you had with them -
they're who they've been
throughout your whole relationship.
- Rainer Maria Rilke
Our deepest fears are like dragons
guarding our deepest treasure.
- Rainer Maria Rilke
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
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I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
And you, Sonja, you look more beautiful
standing here than you do in person.
- the movie Love and Death (1975)
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous
A person who never made a mistake
never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein
The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb
What would be the use of immortality to a person
who cannot use well a half an hour.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
Credit is a system whereby a person who can't pay
gets another person who can't pay
to guarantee that he can pay.
- Charles Dickens
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin
Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community,
and I'll tell you what his opinions are.
- Mark Twain
(paraphrase)
Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde
A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black
A person who trusts no one can't be trusted.
- Jerome Blattner
If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient.
It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
No person was ever honored for what he received.
Honor has been the reward for what he gave.
- Calvin Coolidge
If one does not understand a person,
one tends to regard him as a fool.
- Carl Jung
It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken
Good for who? Good for what?
There is no absolute "good."
"Good" is simply one person's preference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The moment a person forms a theory,
his imagination sees in every object
only the traits which favor that theory.
- Thomas Jefferson
A competent and self-confident person is
incapable of jealousy in anything.
Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Never say goodbye when you still want to try,
never give up when you still feel you can't take it.
Never say you don't love the person anymore
when you can't let go.
- Anonymous
An unclean person is universally a slothful one.
- Henry David Thoreau
The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller
We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor
Resenting someone, or hating someone, ensures that
you can never emotionally escape that person.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Truth is absolute, but only to one person.
My truth is absolute to me, and your truth is absolute to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The person who you're with most in life is yourself
and if you don't like yourself,
you're always with somebody you don't like.
- Marc S. Lewis
Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody,
I think that is a much greater hunger,
a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
- Mother Teresa
It was high counsel that I once heard given to a young person,
"Always do what you are afraid to do."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We are afraid to care too much, for fear
that the other person does not care at all.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
We know what a person thinks not when he tells us
what he thinks, but by his actions.
- Isaac Bashevis Singe
The shoe that fits one person pinches another;
there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.
- Carl Jung
There is an optical illusion about every person we meet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Jealousy is that pain which a man feels
from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved
by the person whom he entirely loves.
- Joseph Addison
Resenting someone is a way of never leaving that person.
- Kare Anderson
It hurts to love someone
and not be loved in return,
but what is more painful is to love
someone and never find the courage
to let that person know how you feel.
- Anonymous
The difference between a successful person and others
is not a lack of strength,
not a lack of knowledge,
but rather a lack of will.
- Vince Lombardi
The highest reward for a person's toil
is not what they get for it,
but what they become by it.
- John Ruskin
You never really understand a person
until you consider things from his point of view.
- Harper Lee
To educate a person in mind and not in morals
is to educate a menace to society.
- Theodore Roosevelt
If you don't take full responsibility
for your own happiness,
who do you suppose will?
Your happiness is a one person job -
it begins and ends with you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
True love means putting the other person before yourself,
and honoring the relationship above all.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't marry the person you think you can live with;
marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
- James C. Dobson
About leadership: No person can be a great leader
unless he takes genuine joy
in the successes of those under him.
- W. A. Nance
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
- Germaine Greer
When a person doesn't have gratitude,
something is missing in his or her humanity.
A person can almost be defined by
his or her attitude toward gratitude.
- Elie Wiesel
Reading about nature is fine, but if a person
walks in the woods and listens carefully,
he can learn more than what is in books,
for they speak with the voice of God.
- George Washington Carver
An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere,
while the pessimist sees only the red stoplight.
The truly wise person is colorblind.
- Albert Schweitzer
A person who is nice to you,
but rude to the waiter,
is not a nice person.
- Dave Barry
Nurturing is not complex.
It's simply being tuned in to the thing or person before you
and offering small gestures toward what it needs at that time.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Not everyone is always going to like what you do.
Your job application, your book proposal,
your offer of marriage is going to
get rejected sometimes - perhaps often.
Your boss, your spouse, even the person
behind you in the supermarket checkout line
is occasionally going to think that you are doing it all wrong.
Don't take it personally.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do not wait for leaders;
do it alone, person to person.
- Mother Teresa
There is no goodness in attempting to coerce
another person into performing a good deed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What is the appropriate behavior for a man or a woman
in the midst of this world,
where each person is clinging to his piece of debris?
What's the proper salutation between people
as they pass each other in this flood?
- The Buddha
See God in every person, place, and thing,
and all will be well in your world.
- Louise L. Hay
What is necessary to change a person is
to change his awareness of himself.
- Abraham Maslow
I have never met an aggressive person
who wasn't a fearful person.
- John Bradshaw
To the world you may be one person,
but to one person you may be the world.
- Anonymous (attributed to Bill Wilson, Brandi Snyder and others)
There is no person in this room whose basic rights
are not involved in any successful defiance
to the carrying out of court orders.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Determine never to be idle.
No person will have occasion to complain
of the want of time who never loses any.
It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
- Thomas Jefferson
The moment there is suspicion about a person's motives,
everything he does becomes tainted.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A person without a sense of humor
is like a wagon without springs.
It's jolted by every pebble on the road.
- Henry Ward Beecher
Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths,
but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.
- Anne Frank
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.