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Let these funny Neil Young Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
It's better to burn out, than to fade away.
- Neil Young
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II
For my part, I consider that it will be found much better
by all parties to leave the past to history,
especially as I propose to write that history myself.
- Winston Churchill
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I always avoid prophesying beforehand,
because it is a much better policy to prophesy
after the event has already taken place.
- Winston Churchill
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Which form of proverb do you prefer
Better late than never, or Better never than late?
- Lewis Carroll
As a cure for worrying,
work is better than whiskey.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington 
People living their lives for you on TV;
They say they're better than you, and you agree.
- Jewel
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool,
than to speak and remove all doubt.
- sometimes attributed to Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, or Samuel Johnson
Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill
It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
- Chinese proverb often quoted by Eleanor Roosevelt
Anger? perhaps there is a better way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our faith gives us knowledge of something better.
- E. F. Schumacher
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
How could youths better learn to live
than by at once trying the experiment of living?
- Henry David Thoreau
Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel
A bad peace is better than a good war.
- Yiddish Proverb
The River of Life has no meaning,
no good, no bad, no better, no worse,
no love, no hate, no fear, no anger, no joy.
The River of Life has no judgment, no expectation.
The River of Life just IS.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Better learn balance. Balance is key.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
Discretion is the better part of valor.
(originally "The better part of valor is discretion")
- William Shakespeare
Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch
To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children,
to leave the world a better place,
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived,
this is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Why, I'd like nothing better than to achieve
some bold adventure, worthy of our trip.
- Aristophanes
Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy
between the genius and his human qualities
that one has to ask oneself whether
a little less talent might not have been better.
- Carl Jung
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson
I don't like that man.
I must get to know him better.
- Abraham Lincoln
At the end of a matter ask,
"What will I learn from this to make me better?"
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The world is a better place because I am here.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Build a better mousetrap
and the world will beat a path to your door.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I think that people want peace so much
that one of these days government had better
get out of their way and let them have it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Every day in every way I am getting better and better.
- Anonymous
Better to be a nettle in the side of your friend than his echo.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Love sought is good,
but given unsought is better.
- William Shakespeare
Freedom is nothing but a chance to be better.
- Albert Camus
I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie.
I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave.
And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.
- H.L. Mencken
It is better to displease the people
by doing what you know is right.
- William J. H. Boetcker
That you may retain your self-respect, it is better
to displease the people by doing what you know is right,
than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.
- William J. H. Boetcker
To kill an error is as good a service as,
and sometimes even better than,
the establishing of a new truth or fact.
- Charles Darwin
Ignorance and bungling with love
are better than wisdom and skill without.
- Henry David Thoreau
All life is an experiment.
The more experiments you make the better.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A truly good book teaches me better than to read it.
I must soon lay it down, and commence living on its hint.
What I began by reading, I must finish by acting.
- Henry David Thoreau
Almost always, the creative dedicated minority
has made the world better.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
If we could first know where we are,
and whither we are tending,
we could then better judge what to do,
and how to do it.
- Abraham Lincoln
How many things there are concerning which we might
well deliberate whether we had better know them.
- Henry David Thoreau
Poverty with security is better than plenty
in the midst of fear and uncertainty.
- Aesop
Hate destroys, Love builds.
Hate tears down, Love renews and creates.
Hatred holds no hope for the future.
Love creates Today as its own better future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
He who stops being better, stops being good.
- Oliver Cromwell
Love is a better teacher than duty.
- Albert Einstein
Sometimes good things fall apart
so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.
- Thomas Jefferson
The willow which bends to the tempest,
often escapes better than the oak which resists it;
and so in great calamities,
it sometimes happens that light and frivolous spirits
recover their elasticity and presence of mind sooner
than those of a loftier character.
- Albert Schweitzer
Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
A man should do his job so well that the living,
the dead, and the unborn could do it no better.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Better late than never.
- Proverb
Never mind what others do;
do better than yourself,
beat your own record from day to day,
and you are a success.
- William J. H. Boetcker
If there is anything that we wish to change in the child,
we should first examine it and see whether it is
not something that could better be changed in ourselves.
- Carl Jung
It is better to be in chains with friends,
than to be in a garden with strangers.
- Persian Proverb
Be careful to leave your sons well instructed rather than rich,
for the hopes of the instructed
are better than the wealth of the ignorant.
- Epictetus
In prayer it is better to have a heart without words
than words without a heart.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
We can stand affliction better than we can prosperity,
for in prosperity we forget God.
- Dwight L. Moody
If a man can... make a better mousetrap,
the world will make a beaten path to his door.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep
because reality is finally better than your dreams.
- Dr. Seuss
Don't bother just to be better than
your contemporaries or predecessors.
Try to be better than yourself.
- William Faulkner
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.