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John A. Shedd Quotes
Funny Quotes by John A. Shedd

Let these funny John A. Shedd Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

A ship in harbor is safe -
but that is not what ships are for.
- John A. Shedd

I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott PHOTO

I sail the seas of life as the MASTER of my ship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

A ship in port is safe,
but that's not what ships are built for.
Sail out to sea and do new things.
- Grace Hopper


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Know that you sail the seas of life
as the master of your own ship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

He who loves practice without theory
is like the sailor who boards ship
without a rudder and compass
and never knows where he may cast.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Neither should a ship rely on one small anchor,
nor should life rest on a single hope.
- Epictetus


 

I alone am the Master of my ship of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We should not moor a ship with one anchor,
or our life with one hope.
- Epictetus

We were all on this ship in the sixties, our generation,
a ship going to discover the New World.
And the Beatles were in the crow's nest of that ship.
- John Lennon

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand PHOTO

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999) PHOTO

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain PHOTO

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer PHOTO

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France

It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin

The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung

Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.