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Jacqueline Schiff Quotes
Funny Quotes by Jacqueline Schiff

Let these funny Jacqueline Schiff Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.
- Jacqueline Schiff

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain PHOTO

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx


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My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

I am easily satisfied with the very best.
- Winston Churchill


 

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

That's what Tiggers do best!
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter PHOTO

Short words are best
and the old words, when short, are best of all.
- Winston Churchill

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

When you have got an elephant by the hind legs
and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
- Abraham Lincoln

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

We have the best government that money can buy.
- Mark Twain

If you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- Somerset Maugham

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung PHOTO

Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

The best argument against democracy is
a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin

Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous

The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Testing oneself is best when done alone.
- Jimmy Carter

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu PHOTO

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart

Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Simply do your best, and you will avoid
self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Ruiz

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank

I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein

The most erroneous stories are those
we think we know best -
and therefore never scrutinize or question.
- Stephen Jay Gould

The best way to predict the future is to create it.
- Peter F. Drucker

Know the best and highest choices for health
and more often choose those things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Be prepared for life -
to live happily and without regret,
knowing that you have done your best.
- the Boy Scout Handbook

The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep.
- E. Joseph Cossman

If we like what we do, if we always do our best,
then we are really enjoying life.
We are having fun, we don't get bored,
we don't have frustrations.
- don Miguel Ruiz

It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham

There is some good in the worst of us
and some evil in the best of us.
When we discover this,
we are less prone to hate our enemies.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You have to accept whatever comes
and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage
and with the best that you have to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Dale Carnegie

I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau

The best way to gain self-confidence
is to do what you are afraid to do.
- Anonymous

Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.
- Robert Browning

The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.
- The Buddha

May you never forget what is worth remembering,
or remember what is best forgotten.
- Anonymous

Sometimes new love comes between old friends.
Sometimes the best love was the one that was always there.
- Anonymous

Do the best you can. Be proud of your accomplishments -
without comparing yourself to others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One's philosophy is not best expressed in words;
it is expressed in the choices one makes...
and the choices we make
are ultimately our responsibility.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The best way to keep your friends
is not to give them away.
- Wilson Mizner

When we do the best that we can,
we never know what miracle is wrought in our life,
or in the life of another.
- Helen Keller

Everyone hears what you say.
Friends listen to what you say.
Best friends listen to what you don't say.
- Anonymous

Self-care is critical to having a strong inner foundation.
Taking good care of YOU means the people in your life
will receive the best of you rather than what is left of you.
- Lorraine Cohen

There are some things you learn best in calm,
and some in storm.
- Willa Cather

Today, I will do my best...
and then relax in the knowing
that I have done all I could.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give the world the best you have
and it may never be enough.
Give the world your best anyway.
- Mother Teresa

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

The best comfort I could offer
was to just let her tell her story.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

He who knows best knows how little he knows.
- Thomas Jefferson

One of the illusions of life is that the present hour
is not the critical, decisive hour.
Write it on your heart that
every day is the best day in the year.
No man has learned anything rightly,
until he knows that every day is Doomsday.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The best thing about me is you.
- Shannon Crown

The language of excitement is at best picturesque merely.
You must be calm before you can utter oracles.
- Henry David Thoreau

The best way to get a bad law repealed
is to enforce it strictly.
- Abraham Lincoln


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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