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Let these funny Hugh Kingsmille Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
Friends are God's apology for relations.
- Hugh Kingsmille
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley
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Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- the movie The Godfather, Part II
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White 
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community,
and I'll tell you what his opinions are.
- Mark Twain
(paraphrase)
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan
Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
Your greatest gift to your family and friends is yourself -
your relaxed, happy, and fully-present self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich
You can make more friends in two months
by becoming interested in other people
than you can in two years by trying
to get other people interested in you.
- Dale Carnegie
Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau
Those that want friends to open themselves unto
are cannibals of their own hearts.
- Francis Bacon
But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends.
- Robert E. Lee
We'll be friends until forever, just you wait and see.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
I have three kinds of friends:
those who love me,
those who pay no attention to me,
and those who detest me.
- Nicolas De Chamfort
Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Appreciate your friends.
Continue to learn.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Do not save your loving speeches
For your friends till they are dead;
Do not write them on their tombstones,
Speak them rather now instead.
- Anna Cummins
Fear makes strangers of people
who would otherwise be friends.
- Shirley MacLaine
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies,
but the silence of our friends.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Friends are angels who lift us to our feet
when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
- Anonymous
The best time to make friends is before you need them.
- Ethel Barrymore
Chance makes our parents, but choice makes our friends.
- Jacques Delille
Marriage, ultimately, is the practice of
becoming passionate friends.
- Harville Hendrix
I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends.
- Abraham Lincoln
Could we see when and where we are to meet again,
we would be more tender when we bid our friends goodbye.
- Ouida
I get by with a little help from my friends.
- John Lennon
Friends are the siblings God never gave us.
- Mencius
It is only the great-hearted who can be true friends.
The mean and cowardly can never know what true friendship means.
- Charles Kingsley
Humility must always be the portion of any man
who receives acclaim earned in the blood of his followers
and the sacrifices of his friends.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Friendship with one's self is all important,
because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends,
and mar the purest joys and happiness
God has granted us in this world,
to fill our hearts with hatred
instead of love for our neighbors,
and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world!
- Robert E. Lee
Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families.
- Anonymous
Good friends are like stars ...
you don't always see them,
but you know they are always there.
- Anonymous
True friends are those who lift you up
when your heart's wings forget how to fly.
- Anonymous
Lighten up! Slow down the shopping.
Your greatest gift to your family and friends is yourself -
your relaxed, happy, and fully-present self.
Consider gifting hand-made cards with messages
of true appreciation in place of store-bought presents.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Friends are those rare people who ask how we are
and then wait to hear the answer.
- Anonymous
True friends are appreciative and never demanding.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I will reflect the finest qualities my friends offer me
and remind them of all the promise I see in them.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I have friends in overalls
whose friendship I would not swap
for the favor of the kings of the world.
- Thomas A. Edison
Fate makes us family. choice makes us friends.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Sometimes new love comes between old friends.
Sometimes the best love was the one that was always there.
- Anonymous
Don't make friends who are comfortable to be with.
Make friends who will force you to lever yourself up.
- Thomas J. Watson Sr.
Be careful the friends you choose -
for you will become like them.
- W. Clement Stone
Friends are born, not made.
- Henry Adams
Friends... they cherish one another's hopes.
They are kind to one another's dreams.
- Henry David Thoreau
Friendship is a thing most necessary to life,
since without friends no one would choose to live,
though possessed of all other advantages.
- Aristotle
No man is the whole of himself;
his friends are the rest of him.
- Harry Emerson Fosdick
Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends.
- Jacques Delille
The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley
Your friends love you anyway.
- Dave Barry
Can miles truly separate us from friends?
If we want to be with someone we love, aren't we already there?
- Richard Bach
We will remember not the words of our enemies,
but the silence of our friends.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.