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Let these funny Due South Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
A friend is someone who won't stop
until he finds you and brings you home.
- Fraser Sr. in the movie Due South
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson 
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono
The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard
The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn
The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous
I never found a companion that was
so companionable as solitude.
- Henry David Thoreau
The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley
The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau
The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau
The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez
The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which
it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.
- Thomas Jefferson
The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous
Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung
A friend is someone who understands my past,
believes in my future,
and accepts me just the way I am.
- Anonymous
Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.
- Henry David Thoreau
Love is the only force capable of
transforming an enemy into friend.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I own that I am not a friend to a very energetic government.
It is always oppressive.
- Thomas Jefferson
The best mirror is an old friend.
- Proverb
Your friend is the man who knows all about you,
and still likes you.
- Elbert Hubbard
It is a great confidence in a friend
to tell him your faults;
greater to tell him his.
- Benjamin Franklin
A sister is a gift to the heart,
a friend to the spirit,
a golden thread to the meaning of life.
- Isadora James
A friend encourages your dreams and offers advice -
but when you don't follow it,
they still respect and love you.
- Doris Wild Helmering
Each friend represents a world in us,
a world possibly not born until they arrive,
and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
- Anais Nin
A friend knows the song in my heart
and sings it to me when my memory fails.
- Donna Roberts
An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes
A friend should be a master at guessing and keeping still.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
In my friend, I find a second self.
- Isabel Norton
An injured friend is the bitterest of foes.
- Thomas Jefferson
The good man is the friend of all living things.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A real friend is one who walks in
when the rest of the world walks out.
- Walter Winchell
If you wish to succeed in life,
make perseverance your bosom friend,
experience your wise counselor,
caution your elder brother,
and hope your guardian genius.
- Joseph Addison
The only reward of virtue is virtue;
the only way to have a friend is to be one.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
There is danger that we lose sight of
what our friend is absolutely,
while considering what she is to us alone.
- Henry David Thoreau
Go oft to the house of thy friend,
for weeds choke the unused path.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.
- Benjamin Franklin
When it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and your best friend will be there.
- Anonymous
Life without a friend is like death without a witness.
- Spanish proverb
Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word.
Never get too big for your britches.
Trust in God. Have no fear;
and Never forget a friend.
- Harry S. Truman
A friend to all is a friend to none.
- Aristotle
A friend is one who walks in when others walk out
- Walter Winchell
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
- Jerome Cummings
Time is my friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Better to be a nettle in the side of your friend than his echo.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A friend or co-worker shares a political,
religious, economic, or social opinion
that is opposite to yours -
does that drive a wedge between your hearts?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.