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Let these funny Demosthenes Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
We believe whatever we want to believe.
- Demosthenes
Small opportunities are often
the beginning of great enterprises.
- Demosthenes
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
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An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Don Marquis
Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
We are all worms. But I believe that I am a glow-worm.
- Winston Churchill
I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown
I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The future belongs to those
who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
- Eleanor Roosevelt 
I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts
Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty,
believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
- Louisa May Alcott
People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind
Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world.
For, indeed, that's all who ever have.
- Margaret Mead
Have a Vision, a Dream.
Believe in that Vision.
Live that Vision with every fiber of your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life
as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.
- Joseph Campbell
Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.
- Francis Bacon
I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein
Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A wise girl kisses but doesn't love,
listens but doesn't believe,
and leaves before she is left.
- Marilyn Monroe
I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw
Whatever you do, you need courage.
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you
that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising
that tempt you to believe your critics are right.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch
What people believe prevails over the truth.
- Sophocles
A true friend is one who believes in you
when you have ceased to believe in yourself.
- Anonymous
It isn't enough to talk about peace.
One must believe in it.
And it isn't enough to believe in it.
One must work at it.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I do not believe in the God of theology
who rewards good and punishes evil.
- Albert Einstein
I don't believe in wishful thinking.
- Bono
Don't believe me,
don't believe yourself,
and don't believe anyone else.
- don Miguel Ruiz
The only way to store information is by agreement.
The belief system is like a Book of Law that rules our mind.
Our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive.
Humans punish themselves endlessly
for not being what they believe they should be.
We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others,
but we cannot accept and love ourselves.
- don Miguel Ruiz
I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Reality is what you believe it to be.
It's what you put your thought and energy into,
because your hands physically manifest thought.
So your world becomes what you feel and what you think.
- Jewel
You are braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Take time to contemplate -
away from the opinions and influence of others -
what you really want
and what you believe to be important in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
- Theodore Roosevelt
Believe that none of the effort you put
into coming closer to God is ever wasted -
even if in the end you don't achieve
what you are striving for.
- Rebbe Nachman of Breslov
If I am capable of grasping God objectively,
I do not believe, but precisely because
I cannot do this I must believe.
- Soren Kierkegaard
I'm not religious at all,
but I believe in God very strongly.
- Bono
The thing always happens that you really believe in;
and the belief in a thing makes it happen.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Faith keeps many doubts in her pay.
If I could not doubt, I should not believe.
- Henry David Thoreau
It is done to you as you believe.
- Ernest Holmes
I no doubt deserved my enemies,
but I don't believe I deserved my friends.
- Walt Whitman
Believe in yourself,
in your vision for your future
and in your ability to take a small step
each day toward achieving your vision.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love comes to those who still hope
even though they've been disappointed,
to those who still believe
even though they've been betrayed,
to those who still love
even though they've been hurt before.
- Anonymous
It's hard to believe, hard to be a believer,
when you see the way the things are in the world.
But I am a believer!
- Bono
Positive thinking has acquired a bad reputation -
which I believe to be totally undeserved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west;
people create distinctions out of their own minds
and then believe them to be true.
- The Buddha
I can not believe that war
is the best solution.
No one won the last war,
and no one will win the next war.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I do not believe that God has
imposed suffering upon anyone
to punish them or to teach them a lesson.
- Ernest Holmes
To believe in a just law of cause and effect,
carrying with it a punishment or a reward,
is to believe in righteousness.
- Ernest Holmes
I do not believe in a fate that
falls on men however they act;
but I do believe in a fate
that falls on them unless they act.
- The Buddha
Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared
believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.
- Bruce Barton
To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
As you discover your daily good,
and believe in it, and think about it,
expect it to continue.
- Ernest Holmes
I believe in the fundamental truth
of all great religions of the world.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Faith consists in believing when it is
beyond the power of reason to believe.
- Voltaire
If you believe that a task will be difficult, it will be -
and you will have suffered with worry beforehand.
Approach life with joy and optimism.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Believe in yourself.
- Anonymous
I don't believe in killing whatever the reason!
- John Lennon
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.