Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


Dan Stanford Quotes
Funny Quotes by Dan Stanford

Let these funny Dan Stanford Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
- Dan Stanford

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
- Samuel Johnson [also attributed to Oscar Wilde]

I've always believed that if done properly,
armed robbery doesn't have to be an unpleasant experience.
- the movie Thelma & Louise

What this country needs is a credit card for
charging things to experience.
- Tom Wilson


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde

Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin

It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln


 

Choose to be as a young child -
fully awake, eager for the next experience.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Fully experience THIS moment -
breathe in, breathe out - nothing more.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Other people do not have to change
for us to experience peace of mind.
- Gerald Jampolsky

Good judgement comes from experience.
Experience comes from bad judgement.
- Jim Horning

I'm not a genius.
I'm just a tremendous bundle of experience.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

For everything I observe or experience,
I create a story - not sometimes, but always.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life
as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.
- Joseph Campbell

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.
Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute
with love, grace, and gratitude.
- Denis Waitley

Only through experience of trial and suffering
can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared,
ambition inspired, and success achieved.
- Helen Keller

Forgiveness ... is the finishing of old business
that allows us to experience the present,
free of contamination from the past.
- Joan Borysenko

Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first
and the lessons afterwards.
- Anonymous

Experience is not what happens to a man.
It is what a man does with what happens to him.
- Aldous Huxley

If what Proust says is true,
that happiness is the absence of fever,
then I will never know happiness.
For I am possessed by a fever
for knowledge, experience, and creation.
- Anais Nin

Security is mostly a superstition.
It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer
in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
- Helen Keller

Experience demands that man is
the only animal which devours his own kind,
for I can apply no milder term to
the general prey of the rich on the poor.
- Thomas Jefferson

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience.
We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
- Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Story is a sacred visualization,
a way of echoing experience.
- Terry Tempest Williams

Heaven is within us, and we experience it
to the degree that we become conscious of it.
- Ernest Holmes

The only source of knowledge is experience.
- Albert Einstein

If you wish to succeed in life,
make perseverance your bosom friend,
experience your wise counselor,
caution your elder brother,
and hope your guardian genius.
- Joseph Addison

Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter
everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe
that change forever how we experience life and the world.
- John Milton

One is taught by experience to put a premium
on those few people who can appreciate you for what you are.
- Gail Godwin

I don't have to have faith, I have experience.
- Joseph Campbell

Experience life in all possible ways -
good-bad, bitter-sweet, dark-light, summer-winter.
Experience all the dualities.
Don't be afraid of experience,
because the more experience you have,
the more mature you become.
- Osho

If money is your hope for independence,
you will never have it.
The only real security that
a man can have in this world
is a reserve of knowledge,
experience and ability.
- Henry Ford

True learning is not about facts,
but about conscious appreciation
of the experience of living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most permanent lessons in morals are those which come,
not of booky teaching, but of experience.
- Mark Twain

We Learn...
10% of what we read,
20% of what we hear,
30% of what we see,
50% of what we see and hear,
70% of what we discuss,
80% of what we experience,
95% of what we teach others.
- William Glasser

Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.
- Henry David Thoreau

Every thought has a consequence.
And every experience has a causative thought behind it.
- Ernest Holmes

People grow through experience
if they meet life honestly and courageously.
This is how character is built.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I left the "eye for an eye" God
when I walked out of Bible school,
but God Within is a daily part of my personal experience.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you wish to experience peace,
provide peace for another.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

I adore the human experience
- Jewel

We deem those happy, who from the experience of life
have learnt to bear its ills without being overcome by them.
- Carl Jung

Unwearied ceaseless effort is the price that must be paid
for turning faith into a rich infallible experience.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

It was the experience of mystery -
even if mixed with fear -
that engendered religion.
- Albert Einstein

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience
in which you really stop to look fear in the face.
You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Experience does not err.
Only your judgments err by expecting from her
what is not in her power.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Even the truth, when believed, is a lie.
You must experience the truth, not believe it.
- Werner Erhard

Well-being is making its way to you at all times.
If you will relax and find a way to allow it,
it will be your experience.
- Abraham (Esther Hicks)

What I recognized is that you can't put it together.
It's already together, and what you have to do
is experience it being together.
- Werner Erhard

A mind that is stretched by a new experience
an never go back to its old dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

When people speak to you about a preventive war,
you tell them to go fight it.
After my experience, I have come to hate war.
War settles nothing.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Learn to become still. And to take your attention
away from what you don't want, and all the emotional charge around it,
and place your attention on what you wish to experience.
- Michael Beckwith

It is important to expect nothing,
to take every experience,
including the negative ones,
as merely steps on the path,
and to proceed.
- Ram Dass

Experience hath shown, that even
under the best forms of government,
those entrusted with power have,
in time, and by slow operations,
perverted it into tyranny.
- Thomas Jefferson

Follow that will and that way
which experience confirms to be your own.
- Carl Jung

My experience has been that work is
almost the best way to pull oneself out of the depths.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Never, never and never again shall it be
that this beautiful land will again experience
the oppression of one by another.
- Nelson Mandela

He who is persistent will realize God.
So try your best to make meditation
a regular experience in your life.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

Only those who have learned the power
of sincere and selfless contribution
experience life's deepest joy: true fulfillment.
- Tony Robbins

Never "for the sake of peace and quiet"
deny your own experience or convictions.
- Dag Hammarskjold

Experience is the best teacher.
- Proverb

I believe that anyone can conquer fear
by doing the things he fears to do,
provided he keeps doing them until he gets
a record of successful experience behind him.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Many people know so little about what
is beyond their short range of experience.
They look within themselves - and find nothing!
Therefore they conclude that there
is nothing outside themselves either.
- Helen Keller

Thoughtful people seldom share exactly the same opinion -
the same point-of-view.
The wise ones understand that they know nothing -
for virtually none of our experience is truly factual -
and they graciously honor all other opinions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The soul loves to meditate,
for in contact with the Spirit lies its greatest joy.
If, then you experience mental resistance during meditation,
remember that reluctance to meditate comes from the ego;
it doesn't belong to the soul.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

What each must seek in his life never was on land or sea.
It is something out of his own unique potentiality for experience,
something that never has been and never could
have been experienced by anyone else.
- Joseph Campbell

Truth cannot be defined,
although it can certainly be experienced.
But experience is not a definition.
A definition is made by the mind,
experience comes through participating.
If somebody asks, "What is a dance?" how can you define it?
But you can dance and you can know the inner feel of it.
God is the ultimate dance.
- Osho

I gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience
in which I must stop and look fear in the face.
I say to myself, I've lived through this
and can take the next thing that comes along.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The experience of democracy is like
the experience of life itself -
always changing, infinite in its variety,
sometimes turbulent
and all the more valuable
for having been tested by adversity.
- Jimmy Carter

I recognize that the person I was in my past
is not the person I am today.
That person did the very best they could,
given the knowledge, emotions, and prior experience
they had to draw upon at the time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
It is the source of all true art and all science.
He to whom this emotion is a stranger,
who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein


Thank you for visiting: Dan Stanford Quotes - Funny Quotes by Dan Stanford.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.