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Let these funny Cool Hand Luke Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
What we've got here is failure to communicate.
- the movie Cool Hand Luke
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
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I got a perfect build for clothes.
I'm a twenty-eight dwarf.
- the movie Love and Death
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everyone who got where he is,
had to begin where he was.
- Richard L. Evans
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
When you have got an elephant by the hind legs
and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
- Abraham Lincoln
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant
I could hardly stand to have the old man around.
But when I got to be 21, I was astonished
at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
- Mark Twain
Love is the flower you've got to let grow.
- John Lennon
None of us got where we are solely by
pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps.
- Thurgood Marshall
Hardly a man in the world has an opinion
upon morals, political, or religion
which he got otherwise than
through his associations and sympathies.
- Mark Twain
My Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you
before you can move on.
- the movie Forrest Gump
If the human race wishes to have a
prolonged and indefinite period of material prosperity,
they have only got to behave in a
peaceful and helpful way toward one another.
- Winston Churchill
My father always used to say that when you die,
if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
- Lee Iacocca
Every time you hear a bell ring,
it means that some angel's just got his wings.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
A policy is a temporary creed liable to be changed,
but while it holds good
it has got to be pursued with apostolic zeal.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
- Bill Watterson
You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra
Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
- Lewis Carroll
It is no use saying, "We are doing our best."
You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary.
- Winston Churchill
I haven't got any special religion this morning.
My God is the God of Walkers.
If you walk hard enough,
you probably don't need any other god.
- Bruce Chatwin
There comes a time when the mind
takes a higher plane of knowledge
but can never prove how it got there.
- Albert Einstein
It takes more than just a good looking body.
You've got to have the heart and soul to go with it.
- Epictetus
You're just left with yourself all the time,
whatever you do anyway.
You've got to get down to your
own God in your own temple.
It's all down to you, mate.
- John Lennon
I'm having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and dammit, someone's got to pay.
I'm afraid that I can't satisfy myself
and that my happiness depends on someone else.
I feel weak, so you're gonna take the fall.
You're so shallow.
- Jewel
If you want a love message to be heard,
it has got to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning,
we have to keep putting oil in it.
- Mother Teresa
If we want a love message to be heard,
it has got to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning,
we have to keep putting oil in it.
- Mother Teresa
The law will never make a man free;
it is men who have got to make the law free.
- Henry David Thoreau
Life is no brief candle to me.
It is a sort of splendid torch
which I have got a hold of for the moment,
and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible
before handing it on to future generations.
- George Bernard Shaw
When we got into office, the thing
that surprised me most
was to find that things were just as bad
as we'd been saying they were.
- John F. Kennedy
Love is the answer, and you know that for sure;
Love is a flower, you've got to let it grow.
- John Lennon
What's the use of a fine house if you haven't got
a tolerable planet to put it on?
- Henry David Thoreau
Let us not be satisfied with just giving money.
Money is not enough, money can be got,
but they need your hearts to love them.
So, spread your love everywhere you go.
- Mother Teresa
We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant.
You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard
or just think it's going to get on by itself.
You've got to keep watering it.
You've got to really look after it and nurture it.
- John Lennon
If future generations are to remember us
more with gratitude than sorrow,
we must achieve more than just the miracles of technology.
We must also leave them a glimpse of the world
as it was created, not just as it looked
when we got through with it.
- Lyndon B. Johnson
It's easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline
when you're a winner, when you're number one.
What you've got to have is faith and discipline
when you're not yet a winner.
- Vince Lombardi
Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today,
at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little,
at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick,
at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.
- The Buddha
I wanted to know the name of every stone
and flower and insect and bird and beast.
I wanted to know where it got its color, where it got its life -
but there was no one to tell me.
- George Washington Carver
"Mother Teresa Prayer"
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
... Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
... Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
... Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
... Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
... Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
... Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
... Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
... Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
We can do no great things - only small things with great love.
- although commonly attributed to Mother Teresa,
who kept a copy of this prayer on
the wall of her Calcutta orphanage,
this prayer was actually written by Kent Keith.
I've always had a love for poetry,
and when I got signed to a record label I thought,
"How odd that I'm doing a record before a book of poetry."
- Jewel
There is a secret wisdom-of-the-ages
that holds the key to breaking our
cycle of self-imposed suffering.
The secret wisdom is, "Life is not supposed to be fair."
This is not sad news. This is GLORIOUS news!
Life is not broken. Nothing is wrong.
God has not failed, died, or gone on vacation.
The world is working perfectly. We just misunderstood.
Somewhere along the way, someone got the idea that
life was "supposed" to be "fair,"
and all the trouble started -
expectation, disappointment, resentment, anger -
a whole cycle of suffering that began
with the belief that life is "supposed" to be "fair."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is nobody in this country who got rich on their own. Nobody. You built a factory out there - good for you. But I want to be clear. You moved your goods to market on roads the rest of us paid for. You hired workers the rest of us paid to educate. You were safe in your factory because of police forces and fire forces that the rest of us paid for. You didn't have to worry that marauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory... Now look. You built a factory and it turned into something terrific or a great idea - God bless! Keep a hunk of it. But part of the underlying social contract is you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along."
- Elizabeth Warren
I have just got a new theory of eternity.
- Albert Einstein
Well, I don't know what will happen now.
We've got some difficult days ahead.
But it doesn't matter with me now.
Because I've been to the mountaintop.
And I don't mind. Like any man,
I would like to live a long life.
Longevity has its place.
But I'm not concerned about that now.
I just want to do God's will.
And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain.
And I've looked over.
And I've seen the promised land.
I may not get there with you.
But I want you to know tonight, that we,
as a people, will get to the promised land.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.