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Let these funny Carl Sandburg Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
Life is like an onion:
you peel it off one layer at a time,
and sometimes you weep.
- Carl Sandburg
THE fog comes
on little cat feet.
It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.
- Carl Sandburg
Nothing happens unless first a dream.
- Carl Sandburg
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall 
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Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll
It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln
Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov
Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller
Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society
Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius
Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster
Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.