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Let these funny Aristotle Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
He who has overcome his fears will truly be free.
- Aristotle
Happiness depends upon ourselves.
- Aristotle 
In the arena of human life,
the honors and rewards fall to those
who show their good qualities in action.
- Aristotle
The end of labor is to gain leisure.
- Aristotle
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It is the mark of an educated mind to be able
to entertain a thought without accepting it.
- Aristotle
Wishing to be friends is quick work,
but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.
- Aristotle
A friend to all is a friend to none.
- Aristotle
Doubt is the beginning of wisdom.
- Aristotle
Friendship is a thing most necessary to life,
since without friends no one would choose to live,
though possessed of all other advantages.
- Aristotle
The educated differ from the uneducated
as much as the living from the dead.
- Aristotle
Give me a place to stand and I will move the earth.
- Aristotle
Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.
- Aristotle
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
- Aristotle
A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions
has never overcome them.
- Carl Jung
The only good luck many great men ever had was
being born with the ability and determination to overcome bad luck.
- Channing Pollock
We acquire the strength we have overcome.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Success is to be measured not so much
by the position that one has reached in life
as by the obstacles which he has overcome.
- Booker T. Washington
Every calamity is to be overcome by endurance.
- Virgil
Overcome obstacles - grow and bloom anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We deem those happy, who from the experience of life
have learnt to bear its ills without being overcome by them.
- Carl Jung
Thinking will not overcome fear but action will.
- W. Clement Stone
Apathy can be overcome by enthusiasm.
- Arnold J. Toynbee
One who gains strength by overcoming obstacles
possesses the only strength which can overcome adversity.
- Albert Schweitzer
The most intense conflicts, if overcome,
leave behind a sense of security and calm
that is not easily disturbed.
It is just these intense conflicts
and their conflagration
which are needed to produce
valuable and lasting results.
- Carl Jung
The softest things in the world overcome
the hardest things in the world.
- Lao Tzu
We fear the unknown,
perhaps more than we fear anything else,
and yet we are, at heart, adventurers.
We seek to expand our realm of knowledge and dominion.
Perhaps we are attempting to overcome and crush the unknown,
but our duel with the unknown is such a one-sided clash
that we must know in our hearts
that our adventure is no more than a child's game.
Perhaps we hope that the unknown
is like the darkness of a cave
and that the brief light of our adventurer's candle
can illuminate the entire cave.
Nonetheless, the path of the adventurer
is a path of joy, while the way of fear is one of suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The marvelous richness of human experience
would lose something of rewarding joy
if there were no limitations to overcome.
The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful
if there were no dark valleys to traverse.
- Helen Keller
It stands to the everlasting credit of science
that by acting on the human mind
it has overcome man's insecurity
before himself and before nature.
- Albert Einstein
There are nine requisites for contented living:
HEALTH enough to make work a pleasure;
WEALTH enough to support your needs;
STRENGTH enough to battle with difficulties and forsake them;
GRACE enough to confess your sins and overcome them;
PATIENCE enough to toil until some good is accomplished;
CHARITY enough to see some good in your neighbor;
LOVE enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others;
FAITH enough to make real the things of God;
HOPE enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.