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Funny Wit Quotes
Funny Quotes about Wit

Let these funny Wit Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Wit is the lowest form of humor.
- Alexander Pope

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
- Winston Churchill

So vast is art, so narrow human wit.
- Alexander Pope

Wit is educated insolence.
- Aristotle


 

In conversation, humor is worth more than wit and easiness more than knowledge.
- George Herbert

If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics.
- Francis Bacon

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils
his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
- Ambrose Bierce


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At twenty years of age the will reigns;
at thirty, the wit;
and at forty, the judgment.
- Benjamin Franklin

Our country is now taking so steady a course as to show
by what road it will pass to destruction,
to wit: by consolidation of power first,
and then corruption, its necessary consequence.
- Thomas Jefferson

While the laughter of joy is in
full harmony with our deeper life,
the laughter of amusement
should be kept apart from it.
The danger is too great of thus learning
to look at solemn things in a spirit of mockery,
and to seek in them opportunities for exercising wit.
- Lewis Carroll

To find a young fellow that is neither a wit in his own eye,
nor a fool in the eye of the world, is a very hard task.
- William Congreve

Because if you've got the wit, you can make anything into a melody,
ultimately.
- Gerry Mulligan

For those whose wit becomes the mother of villainy,
those it educates to be evil in all things.
- Sophocles

Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Wit lies in recognizing the resemblance among things
which differ and the difference between things which are alike.
- Madame de Stael

The genius of the Spanish people is exquisitely subtle,
without being at all acute; hence there is so much
humour and so little wit in their literature.
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The world is divided into men who have wit and no religion
and men who have religion and no wit.
- Avicenna

Indeed I had not much wit, yet I was not an idiot -
my wit was according to my years.
- Margaret Cavendish

Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.
- William Shakespeare

Wit is the appearance, the external flash of imagination.
Thus its divinity, and the witty character of mysticism.
- Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel

Making a book is a craft, like making a clock;
it needs more than native wit to be an author.
- Jean de la Bruyere

Converse with men makes sharp the glittering wit,
but God to man doth speak in solitude.
- John Stuart Blackie

The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life.
Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit,
so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners.
- Florence King

Nothing can atone for the lack of modesty;
without which beauty is ungraceful and wit detestable.
- Richard Steele

It is a sad thing when men have neither the wit to
speak well nor the judgment to hold their tongues.
- Jean de la Bruyere

Raillery is a mode of speaking in favor of one's wit
at the expense of one's better nature.
- Charles de Secondat

There are just certain things that turn my head.
It may be a girl's sense of humor, it may be her wit,
or her belief system; it could be a lot of different things.
- Jensen Ackles

Giving votes in exchange for ideological support.
To wit: identity politics for homosexuals.
- Harry Hay

Reason is mechanical, wit chemical, and genius organic spirit.
- Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel

Brevity is the soul of wit.
- William Shakespeare

A wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits.
- Alexander Pope

Wit consists in knowing the resemblance of things that differ,
and the difference of things that are alike.
- Anne Louise Germaine de Stael

Less judgment than wit is more sail than ballast.
- William Penn

A proverb is the wisdom of many and the wit of one.
- Lord John Russell

What is a epigram? A dwarfish whole.
Its body brevity, and wit its soul.
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
- W. Somerset Maugham

I'm keeping my acerbic wit completely fueled.
- Janice Dickinson

There are two things in ordinary conversation which
ordinary people dislike -
information and wit.
- Stephen Leacock

Confidence contributes more to conversation than wit.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

She had a pretty gift for quotation,
which is a serviceable substitute for wit.
- W. Somerset Maugham

Wit is the only wall between us and the dark.
- Mark Van Doren

When the green woods laugh with the voice of joy,
And the dimpling stream runs laughing by;
When the air does laugh with our merry wit,
And the green hill laughs with the noise of it.
- Lord Byron

The more wit the less courage.
- Thomas Fuller

The moving finger writes, and having written moves on.
Nor all thy piety nor all thy wit, can cancel half a line of it.
- Omar Khayyam

He's a fool that marries, but he's a greater that does not marry a fool;
what is wit in a wife good for,
but to make a man a cuckold?
- William Wycherley

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar;
never spread it about like marmalade.
- Noel Coward

Silence is the wit of fools.
- Anatole France

In Paris, you learn wit, in London you learn to crush your social rivals,
and in Florence you learn poise.
- Virgil Thomson

I don't like jokes in speeches.
I do like wit and humor.
A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic language in a good novel.
- James Humes

One science only will one genius fit;
so vast is art,
so narrow human wit.
- Alexander Pope

Roosevelt's humor was broad, his manner friendly.
Of wit there was little; of philosophy,
none.
What did he possess? Intuition, inspiration,
love of adventure.
- Emanuel Celler

Generally speaking, there is more wit than talent in the world.
Society swarms with witty people who lack talent.
- Antoine Rivarol

The well of true wit is truth itself.
- George Meredith

Marriage is the grave or tomb of wit.
- Margaret Cavendish

A wit should be no more sincere than a woman constant.
- William Congreve

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it
back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.
- Edward Fitzgerald

Our erected wit maketh us to know what perfection is.
- Philip Sidney

The first ingredient in conversation is truth,
the next good sense, the third good humor,
and the fourth wit.
- William Temple

Man forgives woman anything save the wit to outwit him.
- Minna Antrim

No man is so much a fool as not to have wit enough sometimes to be a knave;
nor any so cunning a knave as not to have the weakness
sometimes to play the fool.
- George Savile

There is no such whetstone, to sharpen a good wit and
encourage a will to learning,
as is praise.
- Roger Ascham

There is a certain majesty in simplicity which is far
above all the quaintness of wit.
- Alexander Pope

A fine quotation is a diamond in the hand of a man
of wit and a pebble in the hand of a fool.
- Joseph Roux

You cannot fashion a wit out of two half-wits.
- Neil Kinnock

Wit is more necessary than beauty; and I think no young woman ugly that has it,
and no handsome woman agreeable without it.
- William Wycherley

Wit as an instrument of revenge is as infamous as art
is as a means of sensual titillation.
- Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel

I definitely did look up to John.
We all looked up to John.
He was older and he was very much the leader;
he was the quickest wit and the smartest.
- Paul McCartney

I like a very dry wit, not the big kind of humor like Robin Williams.
I don't think I'm capable of that.
- Chris Cooper

A pun is not bound by the laws which limit nicer wit.
It is a pistol let off at the ear; not a feather to tickle the intellect.
- Charles Lamb

It takes great wit and interest and energy to be happy.
The pursuit of happiness is a great activity.
One must be open and alive.
It is the greatest feat man has to accomplish.
- Robert Herrick

In the midst of the fountain of wit there arises something bitter,
which stings in the very flowers.
- Lucretius


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