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Let these funny Whirl Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
May your mind whirl joyful cartwheels of creativity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
May your spirit soar throughout the vast cathedral of your being.
May your mind whirl joyful cartwheels of creativity.
May your heart sing sweet lullabies of timelessness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
May your spirit soar throughout the vast cathedral of your being.
May your mind whirl joyful cartwheels of creativity.
May your heart sing sweet lullabies of timelessness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
May your mind whirl joyful cartwheels of creativity.
May your heart sing sweet lullabies of timelessness.
May your essence be the nectar of the open blossom of your joy.
May your spirit soar throughout the vast cathedral of your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks!
It's going be a bumpy ride!
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
- Albert Einstein
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde
Crazy is walking down the street
with half a cantaloupe on your head,
muttering; "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- the movie Spy Hard (1996)
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
Trust your own instinct.
Your mistakes might as well be your own,
instead of someone else's.
- Billy Wilder
Don't underestimate your abilities,
that's your boss's job.
- Anonymous
When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor
What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen
Grit ruins clam chowder,
but enhances your character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
Vengeance: "It's your fault; you must pay; you must bleed."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
God Loves an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
So does Your Mother.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin
Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain
You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott
Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain
It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job:
it's a depression when you lose yours.
- Harry S. Truman
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
As you awaken,
may your dreams greet you by name,
and may you answer, "Yes!"
- Mary Anne Radmacher
This is your day to Laugh at Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
Just remember, after they foreclose on your mortgage,
you get a lot more sunshine in your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
Powerful Dreams Inspire Powerful Action.
When you can taste, smell, and touch your dreams,
you can enroll the world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Until you've lost your reputation,
you never realize what a burden it was.
- Margaret Mitchell
This is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- the movie The Godfather, Part II
Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
- Babe Ruth
It is far more impressive when others
discover your good qualities without your help.
- Judith Martin
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
Why wait until you're dead,
when you can create your own Hell right here and now.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life's a bitch... and then you change your attitude.
- Jennifer Unlimited
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.