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Funny Whatsoever Quotes
Funny Quotes about Whatsoever

Let these funny Whatsoever Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
even if your whole world seems upset.
- Saint Francis de Sales


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Increase of material comforts,
it may be generally laid down,
does not in any way whatsoever
conduce to moral growth.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The value of an idea has nothing whatsoever
to do with the sincerity of the man who expresses it.
- Oscar Wilde

Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.
Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
even if your whole world seems upset.
- Saint Francis de Sales


 

One who has any faith in God
should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

There is nothing that wastes the body like worry,
and one who has any faith in God
should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

From one point of view, one individual's vote
doesn't make any difference whatsoever.
The probability of an election swinging
by a single vote is infinitesimal.
On the other hand, if everybody took the attitude
that voting didn't matter, there could never
be a democratically elected government - at all.
So, does your vote matter? You bet your vote matters.
And, at least as much as your vote matters,
your intention for the future of the world matters.
That's so important, it's worth saying again.
At Least As Much As Your Vote Matters,
Your Intention For The Future Of The Entire World Matters.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A fool is one who goes on trusting;
a fool is one who goes on trusting against all his experience.
You deceive him, and he trusts you;
and you deceive him again, and he trusts you;
and you deceive him again, and he trusts you.
Then you will say that he is a fool, he does not learn.
His trust is tremendous; his trust is
so pure that nobody can corrupt it.
Be a fool in the Taoist sense, in the Zen sense.
Don't try to create a wall of knowledge around you.
Whatsoever experience comes to you,
let it happen, and then go on dropping it.
Go on cleaning your mind continuously;
go on dying to the past so you remain in the present here-now,
as if just born, just a babe.
- Osho

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra

Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson

Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein

Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln

See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil.
- Japanese pictorial maxim (the Three Wise Monkeys)

There are no facts, only interpretations.
- Friedrich Nietzsche


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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