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Funny Welfare Quotes
Funny Quotes about Welfare

Let these funny Welfare Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Man becomes great exactly in the degree
in which he works for the welfare of his fellow-men.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Nothing is more important in our national life
than the welfare of our children.
- Harry S. Truman (when signing the National School Lunch Act in 1946)

Until the great mass of the people shall be filled
with the sense of responsibility for each other's welfare,
social justice can never be attained.
- Helen Keller

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields


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Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright


 

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch

Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer

Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates

The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein

A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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