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Let these funny Weird Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I'm actually starting to like more and more people
who have convictions that are unpopular.
Now at what point does an unpopular conviction
interfere with your own human rights?
Forced female circumcision, for instance.
The Catholic Church's stance on contraception.
The list goes on. You know, God has some really weird kids,
and I find it hard to be in their company most of the time.
- Bono
When we find someone whose weirdness
is compatible with ours,
we join up with them and fall into
mutually satisfying weirdness -
and call it love - true love.
- Robert Fulghum.
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Don't expect me to get excited over
another damn thing we need to find.
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010)
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Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2
Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
Whenever I find the key to success,
someone changes the lock.
- Anonymous
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie"
until you can find a rock.
- Will Rogers
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
Don't die with your music still inside you.
Listen to your intuitive inner voice
and find what passion stirs your soul.
- Wayne Dyer
If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.
- Mo Udall
Unless they share our opinions,
we seldom find people sensible.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar
Human beings must have action;
and they will make it if they cannot find it.
- Albert Einstein
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
One of the annoying things about believing in free will
and individual responsibility is the difficulty
of finding somebody to blame your problems on.
And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable
how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.
- P. J. O'Rourke
Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No matter what happens, someone will find a way
to take it too seriously.
- Dave Barry
The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase:
if you pursue happiness you'll never find it.
- C. P. Snow
We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone -
but paradoxically, if we cannot trust,
neither can we find love or joy.
- Walter Anderson
What old people say you cannot do,
you try and find that you can.
Old deeds for old people, and new deeds for new.
- Henry David Thoreau
Remain calm, serene, always in command of yourself.
You will then find out how easy it is to get along.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
We will either find a way or make one.
- Hannibal
It hurts to love someone
and not be loved in return,
but what is more painful is to love
someone and never find the courage
to let that person know how you feel.
- Anonymous
I find that he is happiest
of whom the world says least, good or bad.
- Thomas Jefferson
Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
- Lewis Carroll
It's so easy to fall in love
but hard to find someone who will catch you.
- Anonymous
When we got into office, the thing
that surprised me most
was to find that things were just as bad
as we'd been saying they were.
- John F. Kennedy
Your sacred space is where you can
find yourself again and again.
- Joseph Campbell
There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged
to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
- Nelson Mandela
The best way to find yourself
is to lose yourself
in the service of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Go within every day and find the inner strength
so that the world will not blow your candle out.
- Katherine Dunham
He who can give thanks for little
will always find he has enough.
- Anonymous
We find delight in the beauty and happiness of children
that makes the heart too big for the body.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We shall find peace. We shall hear angels.
We shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds.
- Anton Chekhov
Until he extends the circle of
his compassion to all living things,
man will not himself find peace.
- Albert Schweitzer
Truly great friends are hard to find,
difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.
- Anonymous
You can not find happiness by chasing after it.
Happiness comes from doing what you love to do,
and from being who you truly are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The more we know about how we lost
our spontaneous wonder and creativity,
the more we can find ways to get them back.
- John Bradshaw
If you are possessed by an idea,
you will find it expressed everywhere,
you even smell it.
- Thomas Mann
Believe those who are seeking the truth.
Doubt those who find it.
- Andre Gide
You will never find time for anything.
If you want time you must make it.
- Charles Buxton
Well-being is making its way to you at all times.
If you will relax and find a way to allow it,
it will be your experience.
- Abraham (Esther Hicks)
People with great gifts are easy to find,
but symmetrical and balanced ones never.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you have found your truth within yourself
there is nothing more in this whole existence to find.
- Osho
If you don't have confidence, you'll always find a way not to win.
- Carl Lewis
Through humor, you can soften some
of the worst blows that life delivers.
And once you find laughter,
no matter how painful your situation might be,
you can survive it.
- Bill Cosby
I am a great believer in luck
and I find that the harder
I work the more I have of it.
- Thomas Jefferson
I find that the harder I work,
the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson
When you find your path, you must not be afraid.
You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes.
Disappointment, defeat, and despair are
the tools God uses to show us the way.
- Paulo Coelho
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority,
it is time to pause and reflect.
- Mark Twain
Music and rhythm find their way
into the secret places of the soul.
- Plato
We were given:
Two hands to hold.
Two legs to walk.
Two eyes to see.
Two ears to listen.
But why only one heart?
Because the other was given to someone else.
For us to find.
- Anonymous
Don't fall for looks, they can deceive.
Don't fall for wealth, in the end it fades away.
Find someone who makes you smile
because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.
- Anonymous
I find motivation and inspiration and hope in information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Great men or men of great gifts
you shall easily find,
but symmetrical men never.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Do not seek to bring things to pass
in accordance with your wishes,
but wish for them as they are,
and you will find them.
- Epictetus
Stand up to your obstacles
and do something about them.
You will find that they haven't
half the strength you think they have.
- Norman Vincent Peale
If we open a quarrel between past and present,
we shall find that we have lost the future.
- Winston Churchill
To succeed, you need to find
something to hold on to,
something to motivate you,
something to inspire you.
- Tony Dorsett
Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful,
we must carry it with us or we find it not.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace.
- The Buddha
When one gets angry, it is always angry AT someone -
perhaps a friend or spouse, perhaps a stranger,
perhaps the nameless "they" - "those people at the bank wronged me,"
perhaps God, or perhaps oneself.
In any case, when one gets angry,
they want to find someone to be "responsible" for what happened.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You must live in the present,
launch yourself on every wave,
find your eternity in each moment.
- Henry David Thoreau
In my friend, I find a second self.
- Isabel Norton
Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves
come when life seems most challenging.
- Joseph Campbell
Find a job you like and you add five days to every week.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
If you look into your own heart,
and you find nothing wrong there,
what is there to worry about?
What is there to fear?
- Confucius
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.