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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Wax Quotes
Funny Quotes about Wax

Let these funny Wax Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll

First, wash all car. Then wax. Wax on...
Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off.
Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off.
Don't forget to breathe, very important.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill


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(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II


 

I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

Manners require time, and nothing is more vulgar than haste.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
- Lao Tzu

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx

Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.
- Henry David Thoreau

Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No good comes from hurrying.
- Yiddish Proverb

A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson

Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.
- Sydney Harris

Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon

The finest workers in stone are not copper or steel tools,
but the gentle touches of air and water
working at their leisure with a liberal allowance of time.
- Henry David Thoreau

The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.
- Rabindranath Tagore

There is only one time that is important - NOW!
It is the most important time because
it is the only time that we have any power.
- Leo Tolstoy

You will never find time for anything.
If you want time you must make it.
- Charles Buxton

Once you have mastered time,
you will understand how true it is that
most people overestimate what
they can accomplish in a year -
and underestimate what
they can achieve in a decade!
- Tony Robbins

Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time
like dew on the tip of a leaf.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Who forces time is pushed back by time;
who yields to time finds time on his side.
- The Talmud

Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A time for work, a time for play -
balance in all things.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Footprints in the sands of time...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Why are you going there?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The bad news is time flies.
The good news is you're the pilot.
- Michael Althsuler

The way lies in softness and patience,
as the softest water cuts through the hardest rock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Urgent? Why?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is a mistake to look too far ahead.
Only one link in the chain of destiny
can be handled at a time.
- Winston Churchill

Habit is habit,
and not to be flung out of the window by any man,
but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.
- Mark Twain

I've learned that you should always
leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
- Anonymous

It takes time to persuade men to do even
what is for their own good.
- Thomas Jefferson

Time is an untamed beast
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A man who dares to waste one hour of time
has not discovered the value of life.
- Charles Darwin

Regret is an appalling waste of time.
- Katherine Mansfield

The mind exists in time, in fact the mind is time;
it exists in the past and the future.
And remember, time consists of only two tenses,
the past and the future.
The present is not part of time,
the present is part of eternity.
- Osho

Life is like an onion:
you peel it off one layer at a time,
and sometimes you weep.
- Carl Sandburg

Life is like dancing.
If we have a big floor, many people will dance.
Some will get angry when the rhythm changes.
But life is changing all the time.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection,
not in books alone, but in every leaf in spring-time.
- Martin Luther

Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with.
It responds like a snail to our impatience,
then it races like a gazelle when you can't catch a breath.
- the movie Simon Birch

This is no time for ease and comfort.
It is time to dare and endure.
- Winston Churchill

To say "too busy" is merely
to say "confused priorities."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This is our moment, this is our time.
- Bono

Life is too short, time is too precious,
and the stakes are too high
to dwell on what might have been.
- Hilary Clinton

TIME is poisonous construct of our rattlesnake minds.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In time we hate that which we often fear.
- William Shakespeare

Time is carnivorous.
Urgency rips the peaceful flesh from our bones.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In order to discover new lands,
one must be willing to lose sight
of the shore for a very long time.
- Anonymous

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

When someone you love dies,
you don't lose them all at once.
You lose them in pieces over time
- the movie Simon Birch

Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything.
It's the time we spent together that matters,
not how we left it.
- Trey Parker

If we are not happy and joyous at this season,
for what other season shall we wait and
for what other time shall we look?
- Abdul-Baha

There is a time to cry for those we have lost,
and there is a time to wipe the tears and smile again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is now.
There was never a time when your life was not now,
nor will there ever be.
- Eckhart Tolle

I am but a grain of sand on the beach of life.
My footprints in the sands of time soon wash away.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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