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Let these funny Washed Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
I am but a grain of sand on the beach of life.
My footprints in the sands of time soon wash away.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Keep close to Nature's heart...
and break clear away, once in awhile,
and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods.
Wash your spirit clean.
- John Muir
I allow life to wash over me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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First, wash all car. Then wax. Wax on...
Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off.
Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off.
Don't forget to breathe, very important.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
I love the rain - it washes memories
off the sidewalk of life.
- the movie Play It Again, Sam
Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.
- Berthold Auerbach
The wave of evil washes all our institutions alike.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
Hate is never conquered by hate,
Hate is only conquered by love.
- The Buddha
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal
He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous
If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin
The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart
We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong
Love is the flower you've got to let grow.
- John Lennon
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran
Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Love Without Limits.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth
Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.
- William Shakespeare
Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather
Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.