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Let these funny Wash Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I am but a grain of sand on the beach of life.
My footprints in the sands of time soon wash away.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Keep close to Nature's heart...
and break clear away, once in awhile,
and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods.
Wash your spirit clean.
- John Muir
I allow life to wash over me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
First, wash all car. Then wax. Wax on...
Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off.
Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off.
Don't forget to breathe, very important.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
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I love the rain - it washes memories
off the sidewalk of life.
- the movie Play It Again, Sam
The wave of evil washes all our institutions alike.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.
- Berthold Auerbach
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
His answer trickled through my head like water through a sieve.
- Lewis Carroll
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
Always remember that you are absolutely unique.
Just like everyone else.
- Margaret Mead
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
When life is like a slippery downhill slope,
go skiing and scream Whee... all the way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl
I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Advice is seldom welcome,
and those who need it the most, like it the least.
- Lord Chesterfield
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer
Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston
It's so sweet, I feel like my teeth
are rotting when I listen to the radio.
- Bono
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Life is like a roller coaster - scream Whee... on the way down,
and let the momentum carry you back up the next hill.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen
Twinkle, twinkle little bat
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
- Lewis Carroll
Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous
Self confident independent thinker -
sounds like the makings of a hero.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin
Chanting OM is sort of like MOOing backward.
- Anonymous
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
Bureaucrats: they are dead at 30 and buried at 60.
They are like custard pies; you can't nail them to a wall.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.