Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Wars Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
When the war of the giants is over,
the wars of the pygmies will begin.
- Winston Churchill
It is incumbent on every generation
to pay its own debts as it goes.
A principle which if acted on would
save one-half the wars of the world.
- Thomas Jefferson
The past is prophetic in that it asserts loudly
that wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
Do or do not, there is no try.
- Jedi Master Yoda in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
Have we not come to such an impasse in the modern world
that we must love our enemies - or else?
The chain reaction of evil -
hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars -
must be broken, or else we shall be plunged
into the dark abyss of annihilation.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Fear is the path to the dark side.
Fear leads to anger.
Anger leads to hate.
Hate leads to suffering.
- Yoda, character in Star Wars movie
You must unlearn what you have learned.
- the character Yoda in the movie Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
If all of us acted in unison as I act individually
there would be no wars and no poverty.
I have made myself personally responsible
for the fate of every human being who has come my way.
- Anais Nin
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)
The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln
I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson
When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore
We will not learn how to live together in peace
by killing each other's children.
- Jimmy Carter
Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering
Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill
There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart
Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
We have no enemies,
we have only friendships that we haven't yet developed
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We prefer world law in the age of self-determination
to world war in the age of mass extermination.
- John F. Kennedy
When you have to kill a man,
it costs nothing to be polite.
- Winston Churchill
The problems of victory are more agreeable
than those of defeat,
but they are no less difficult.
- Winston Churchill
When you are winning a war
almost everything that happens
can be claimed to be right and wise.
- Winston Churchill
When people speak to you about a preventive war,
you tell them to go fight it.
After my experience, I have come to hate war.
War settles nothing.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
You can discover what your enemy fears most
by observing the means he uses to frighten you.
- Michael Moncur
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
- Winston Churchill
What counts is not necessarily
the size of the dog in the fight -
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower quoting Mark Twain
All warfare is based on deception.
- Sun Tzu
Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror,
victory however long and hard the road may be;
for without victory, there is no survival.
- Winston Churchill
The power of an air force is terrific
when there is nothing to oppose it.
- Winston Churchill
The most terrible job in warfare is to be a second lieutenant
leading a platoon when you are on the battlefield.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends.
- Robert E. Lee
Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory.
Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.
- Sun Tzu
The expert in battle seeks his victory
from strategic advantage
and does not demand it from his men.
- Sun Tzu
When you put on a uniform,
there are certain inhibitions that you accept.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.
- Winston Churchill
If men can develop weapons that are so terrifying
as to make the thought of global war
include almost a sentence for suicide,
you would think that man's intelligence and his comprehension...
would include also his ability to find a peaceful solution.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
We may never be strong enough to be entirely
nonviolent in thought, word and deed.
But we must keep nonviolence as our goal
and make strong progress towards it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
A bad peace is better than a good war.
- Yiddish Proverb
The great defense against the air menace
is to attack the enemy's aircraft
as near as possible to their point of departure.
- Winston Churchill
If we take the generally accepted definition of bravery
as a quality which knows no fear, I have never seen a brave man.
All men are frightened. The more intelligent they are,
the more they are frightened.
- George S. Patton
We have not yet begun to fight.
- John Paul Jones
There should be an honest attempt at the reconciliation
of differences before resorting to combat.
- Jimmy Carter
What is human warfare but just this;
an effort to make the laws of God and
nature take sides with one party.
- Henry David Thoreau
We shall show mercy, but we shall not ask for it.
- Winston Churchill
Battles are won by slaughter and maneuver.
The greater the general, the more he contributes in maneuver,
the less he demands in slaughter.
- Winston Churchill
To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years.
To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day.
- Winston Churchill
When all you know is bombs,
everything looks like a target.
Give peace and diplomacy a chance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never in the field of human conflict
was so much owed by so many to so few.
- Winston Churchill
There was never a good war or a bad peace.
- Benjamin Franklin
We must concentrate not merely on
the negative expulsion of war
but the positive affirmation of peace.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can,
only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
In war, you can only be killed once,
but in politics, many times.
- Winston Churchill
Mankind must put an end to war
before war puts an end to mankind.
- John F. Kennedy
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought,
but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
- Albert Einstein
Men ought either to be indulged or utterly destroyed,
for if you merely offend them, they take vengeance,
but if you injure them greatly, they are unable to retaliate,
so that the injury done to a man
ought to be such that vengeance cannot be feared.
- Niccolo Machiavelli
Don't be against anything -
e.g. don't be against war, be FOR peace
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Unconditional war can no longer lead to unconditional victory.
It can no longer serve to settle disputes...
can no longer be of concern to great powers alone.
- John F. Kennedy
Those who can win a war well can rarely make a good peace
and those who could make a good peace
would never have won the war.
- Winston Churchill
The limitation of riots, moral questions aside,
is that they cannot win and their participants know it.
Hence, rioting is not revolutionary but reactionary
because it invites defeat.
It involves an emotional catharsis,
but it must be followed by a sense of futility.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Another day, another dollar, another war, another tower
Went up where the homeless had their home.
- Jewel
The most successful war seldom pays for its losses.
- Thomas Jefferson
Thank you for visiting: Funny Wars Quotes - Funny Quotes about Wars.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.