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Funny Virus Quotes
Funny Quotes about Virus

Let these funny Virus Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand,
and without examination
- Mark Twain

Dumbo! C'mon, fly! Open them ears!
The magic feather was just a gag!
You can fly! Honest, you can!
- Timothy Q. Mouse in the movie Dumbo

Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


 

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief
in the occurrence of the improbable.
- H. L. Mencken

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz


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Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Nothing is so firmly believed as what is least known.
- Michel de Montaigne

In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west;
people create distinctions out of their own minds
and then believe them to be true.
- The Buddha

It's hard to believe, hard to be a believer,
when you see the way the things are in the world.
But I am a believer!
- Bono

Our grandchildren's grandchildren will shake their heads in shame
at some of the beliefs that we hold most dear today -
the question is, which ones?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When an inner situation is not made conscious,
it appears outside as fate.
- Carl Jung

When all is said and done,
the one sole condition that makes
spiritual happiness and preserves it
is the absence of doubt.
- Mark Twain

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself -
and you are the easiest person to fool.
- Richard Feynman

The greatest harm can result from the best intentions.
- Terry Goodkind

What people believe prevails over the truth.
- Sophocles

The inherent nature of God
is not changed by our individual beliefs,
our religious institutions,
or our communal traditions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Belief fuels our decisions -
even when we are not clearly aware of those beliefs.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown
is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell

Anyone can heal who believes that he can
and will take the time to put that belief into motion.
- Ernest Holmes

A widespread belief is more often likely
to be foolish than sensible.
- Bertrand Russell

Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want.
It is the belief that God will do what is right.
- Max Lucado

Believe that life is worth living,
and your belief will help create the fact.
- William James

Envy comes from people's ignorance of,
or lack of belief in, their own gifts.
- Jean Vanier

The final delusion is the belief
that one has lost all delusions.
- Maurice Chapelain

Prayer is a thought, a belief, a feeling,
arising within the mind of the one praying.
- Ernest Holmes

The thing always happens that you really believe in;
and the belief in a thing makes it happen.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.
- D. Elton Trueblood

Belief transcends ritual, structure and societal expectation.
It is an enlivening, intensely personal
core to our being. Our way of being.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The only way to store information is by agreement.
The belief system is like a Book of Law that rules our mind.
Our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive.
Humans punish themselves endlessly
for not being what they believe they should be.
We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others,
but we cannot accept and love ourselves.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Faith is much better than belief.
Belief is when someone else does the thinking.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

You cannot divorce religious belief and public service.
I've never detected any conflict between
God's will and my political duty.
If you violate one, you violate the other.
- Jimmy Carter

There are righteous people working
in a whole rainbow of belief systems -
from Hasidic Jews to right-wing Bible Belters
to charismatic Catholics.
- Bono

The greatest force in the human body
is the natural drive of the body to heal itself -
but that force in not independent of the belief system.
Everything begins with belief.
What we believe is the most powerful option of all.
- Norman Cousins

Beliefs have evolved based on survival value.
Certain belief systems have been more conducive than others
to people living long enough to reproduce,
and having a high rate of reproduction.
It's that basic.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Faith is a living and unshakable confidence,
a belief in the grace of God so assured that
a man would die a thousand deaths for its sake.
- Martin Luther

Although the world is full of suffering,
it is full also of the overcoming of it.
My optimism, then, does not rest on the absence of evil,
but on a glad belief in the preponderance of good
and a willing effort always to cooperate with the good,
that it may prevail.
- Helen Keller

It is my own firm belief that the strength of the soul
grows in proportion as you subdue the flesh.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The word "belief" is a difficult thing for me.
I don't believe. I must have a reason for a certain hypothesis.
Either I know a thing, and then I know it -
I don't need to believe it.
- Carl Jung

There is a secret wisdom-of-the-ages
that holds the key to breaking our
cycle of self-imposed suffering.
The secret wisdom is, "Life is not supposed to be fair."
This is not sad news. This is GLORIOUS news!
Life is not broken. Nothing is wrong.
God has not failed, died, or gone on vacation.
The world is working perfectly. We just misunderstood.
Somewhere along the way, someone got the idea that
life was "supposed" to be "fair,"
and all the trouble started -
expectation, disappointment, resentment, anger -
a whole cycle of suffering that began
with the belief that life is "supposed" to be "fair."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I want to share with you the three rules
that I have in order to accept an apprentice.
Rule Number 1: Don't believe me.
I don't want you to believe me
but I want you to listen and make choices - your choices.
If what I say, doesn't work for you, leave it.
But if it works for you and that's what you want, then make it yours.
Rule Number 2: Don't believe yourself.
Why? Because most of your belief system is a lie - it's not true.
And by believing yourself, you create all the limitations
that don't allow you to be what you really are.
Don't believe yourself. Listen to what you say,
listen to what you think, listen to what you believe.
And when you listen, open your ears, open your mind,
open your intelligence and make choices.
Rule 3 is, don't believe anybody else.
Don't believe them at all.
Open your ears and your mind; listen and make choices.
- don Miguel Ruiz

It is not our place to know the mind of God.
Spirit knows what is best in the long run -
best for each of us individually,
and best for humanity as a whole.
This is often very difficult to accept
when we see war and disease in the world
and experience physical and emotional suffering
in ourselves, our family, and our friends.
I consider this belief in God's infinite power
and ultimate wisdom to be the true test of faith.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Is a belief a perception of the five senses,
or is it a perception of emotional feeling?
Is it better to say "I sense" and/or "I feel"?
Is it better to say " I know" than "I believe"?
Is belief based on experience or on a idea?
My thinking is that belief/believing is a very missed used word.
- Anonymous

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

Almost any sect, cult, or religion will
legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein

I don't doubt God. I have firm faith absolutely in God.
It's religion I'm doubting.
- Bono

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead

I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Puritanism. The haunting fear that
someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken

The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Never trust spiritual leader who doesn't dance.
- Miyagi: character in the movie The Next Karate Kid

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott

It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell

A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

In every country and every age,
the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson

Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blind-folded fear.
- Thomas Jefferson

The Christian missionary may preach the gospel
to the poor naked heathen,
but the spiritual heathen who populate Europe
have as yet heard nothing of Christianity.
- Carl Jung

It ain't those parts of the Bible
that I can't understand that bother me,
it is the parts that I do understand.
- Mark Twain


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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