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Funny Vengeance Quotes
Funny Quotes about Vengeance

Let these funny Vengeance Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Where there is no accusation of "fault,"
there can be no anger.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Vengeance: "It's your fault; you must pay; you must bleed."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Through violence, you may 'solve' one problem,
but you sow the seeds for another.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as
your own unguarded thoughts.
- The Buddha


 

Control thy passions lest they take vengeance upon thee.
- Epictetus

I accept everything that ever has been,
with no regrets, no resentments, and no call for vengeance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Men ought either to be indulged or utterly destroyed,
for if you merely offend them, they take vengeance,
but if you injure them greatly, they are unable to retaliate,
so that the injury done to a man
ought to be such that vengeance cannot be feared.
- Niccolo Machiavelli


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It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor
heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood,
more vengeance, more desolation.
War is hell.
- William Tecumseh Sherman

Deep vengeance is the daughter of deep silence.
- Vittorio Alfieri

In theory it may seem all right to some,
but when it comes to being made the instrument of the Lord's vengeance,
I myself don't like it.
- Robert Gould Shaw

On wrongs swift vengeance waits.
- Alexander Pope

I have the feeling that this Moscow Pact will at some
time or other exact vengeance upon National Socialism.
- Alfred Rosenberg

When you have a very hot single there is no reason
why it can't drive album sales.
People fall off and come back on.
I'm looking forward to coming back on with a vengeance.
- Justin Guarini

Around 1980, I went back to painting with a vengeance.
- Martin Mull

At an age when most actresses are being phased out,
I am being phased in - with a vengeance.
- Candice Bergen

When critics sit in judgment it is hard to tell where
justice leaves off and vengeance begins.
- Chuck Jones

The thirst for vengeance was the beautiful nature which Homer imitated.
- Johann G. Hamann

Do feuds ever end?
Only when both sides shake hands,
and agree that there is no winner, no loser,
only people who have wearied of fighting
and desire to live in peace.
For many years, Northern Ireland was locked
in a murderous and seemingly unending feud.
The key to ending the feud was a shared commitment
that peace was more important than vengeance.
That is always the choice to be made.
The organizers of an April 10, 2009
joint Protestant-Catholic commemoration
of the Northern Ireland dead,
comprised of members of the once-outlawed Sinn Fein
as well as their once-avowed enemies,
referred to, "the terrible, random nature
of death in war and civil conflict."
Some lessons have been learned, many more remain.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so
severe that his vengeance need not be feared.
- Niccolo Machiavelli

My husband is a fall-away Catholic, but with a vengeance.
He's actually more of a feminist than I am.
- Olympia Dukakis

The injury that we do to a man must be such that we
need not fear his vengeance.
- Steve Perry

Vengeance is not the point; change is.
But the trouble is that in most people's minds the
thought of victory and the thought of punishing the enemy coincide.
- Barbara Deming

Just vengeance does not call for punishment.
- Pierre Corneille

But I find the best things I do, I do when I'm trying
to avoid doing something else I'm supposed to be doing.
You know, you're working on something.
You get bugged, or you lose your enthusiasm or something.
So you turn to something else with an absolute vengeance.
- Norton Juster

A surging, seething, murmuring crowd of beings that are human only in name,
for to the eye and ear they seem naught but savage creatures,
animated by vile passions and by the lust of vengeance and of hate.
- Baroness Orczy

Our situation today shows that beauty demands for itself
at least as much courage and decision as do truth and goodness,
and she will not allow herself to be separated and
banned from her two sisters without taking them along
with herself in an act of mysterious vengeance.
- Hans Urs von Balthasar

I am tired and sick of war.
Its glory is all moonshine.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor
heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood,
for vengeance, for desolation.
War is hell.
- William Tecumseh Sherman

No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy -
unless you let him.
- Napoleon Hill

We are composed of self-contradictions.
Each of us is loving in some moments - hateful in others.
Patient and calm sometimes - harried by urgency at others.
Understanding - and self-absorbed.
Reassuring - and sarcastic.
Generous - and greedy.
Trusting - and jealous.
Comforting - and snappish.
Original - and stuck in a rut.
Thankful - and needy.
Forgiving - and vengeful.
Nurturing ourself - and stuffing ourself with fast food.
Honoring our bodies - and overstressing.
Being Joyful - and Suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Man is by nature competitive, combative,
ambitious, jealous, envious, and vengeful.
- Arthur Keith

Be patient and understanding.
Life is too short to be vengeful or malicious.
- Phillips Brooks

I didn't really escape that gravity until I moved 300
miles south to go to college at 18,
where authorship no longer seemed something liable
to induce vengeful punishment.
- David Knopfler

It is only partly true that religion does more harm than good in society.
The community makes God into the image it wants,
vengeful, or milky sweet, or scrupulously just,
and so on.
- Mary Douglas

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well,
no, I was an accountant.
- Ellen DeGeneres

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death

There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.
- Kevin James

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
- Lily Tomlin

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

I have six locks on my door all in a row.
When I go out, I lock every other one.
I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks,
they are always locking three.
- Elayne Boosler

Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood,
but it didn't because parenting can only be learned
by people who have no children.
- Bill Cosby

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill

It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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