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Funny Vanity Quotes
Funny Quotes about Vanity

Let these funny Vanity Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

All men dream, but not equally.
Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds,
wake in the day to find that it was vanity:
but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men,
for they may act on their dreams with open eyes,
to make them possible.
- T. E. Lawrence

Cowardice asks the question - is it safe?
Expediency asks the question - is it politic?
Vanity asks the question - is it popular?
But conscience asks the question - is it right?
And there comes a time when one must take a position
that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular;
but one must take it BECAUSE it is right.
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

There is nothing so agonizing to the fine skin of vanity
as the application of a rough truth.
- Robert Bulwer-Lytton

Vanity is as ill at ease under indifference as tenderness
is under a love which it cannot return.
- George Eliot


 

A pretty wife is something for the fastidious vanity
of a rougue to retire upon.
- Thomas Moore

If boyhood and youth are but vanity,
must it not be our ambition to become men?
- Vincent Van Gogh

The English are predisposed to pride,
the French to vanity.
- Jean Jacques Rousseau


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Vanity is but the surface.
- Blaise Pascal

The love of one's own sex is precious,
for it is neither provoked by vanity nor retained by flattery;
it is genuine and sincere.
- Maria Mitchell

The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him,
the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him,
but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.
- Helen Rowland

Religion which is interested only in itself,
in its prestige and success, in its institutions and ecclesiastical niceties,
is worse than vanity; it is essentially incestuous.
- S. H. Miller

The only cure for vanity is laughter,
and the only fault that is laughable is vanity.
- Henri Bergson

Every author, however modest, keeps a most outrageous
vanity chained like a madman in the padded cell of his breast.
- Logan P. Smith

Vanity can easily overtake wisdom.
It usually overtakes common sense.
- Julian Casablancas

Pleasure is a shadow, wealth is vanity,
and power a pageant; but knowledge is ecstatic in enjoyment,
perennial in frame, unlimited in space and indefinite in duration.
- DeWitt Clinton

Vanity working on a weak head, produces every sort of mischief.
- Jane Austen

By rendering the labor of one, the property of the other,
they cherish pride, luxury, and vanity on one side;
on the other,
vice and servility, or hatred and revolt.
- James Madison

There is something wrong about being photographed that
has nothing to do with vanity.
- Nigella Lawson

The surest cure for vanity is loneliness.
- Tom Wolfe

The vanity of loving fine clothes and new fashion,
and placing value on ourselves by them is one of the
most childish pieces of folly.
- Matthew Hale

The herd seek out the great, not for their sake but for their influence;
and the great welcome them out of vanity or need.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

You must renounce all superficiality,
all convention, all vanity and delusion.
- Gustav Mahler

In the vanity of self-consciousness one feels at a
long remove above the ordinary love and trustfulness
of a simple and pure heart.
- Donald G. Mitchell

Vanity is a vital aid to nature: completely and absolutely necessary to life.
It is one of nature's ways to bind you to the earth.
- Elizabeth Smart

I believe firmly that it was the Almighty's goodness,
to check my consummate vanity.
- Lord Mountbatten

I will give you a definition of a proud man:
he is a man who has neither vanity nor wisdom one filled
with hatreds cannot be vain,
neither can he be wise.
- John Keats

I have been vain since birth.
I expected other people to like what I did,
although my vanity has definitely diminished over the years.
- Wallace Shawn

Change of fashion is the tax levied by the industry
of the poor on the vanity of the rich.
- Nicolas de Chamfort

Censorship is the height of vanity.
- Martha Graham

Vanity is a mark of humility rather than of pride.
- Jonathan Swift

The happy story right now is the full page in Vanity Fair,
which gives me a great deal of exposure.
- Jackie DeShannon

The vanity of teaching doth oft tempt a man to forget that he is a blockhead.
- George Savile

A man's vanity tells him what is honor,
a man's conscience what is justice.
- Walter Savage Landor

Large parties given to very young children...
foster the passions of vanity and envy,
and produce a love of dress and display which is very
repulsive in the character of a child.
- Susanna Moodie

The highest form of vanity is love of fame.
- George Santayana

My vanity is not dead.
I laugh when I see pictures of myself as I am now-maybe so I won't cry,
but just because it is really funny how much I've changed.
- Michael Zaslow

I have a lot of vanity.
- Jack Nicholson

Stupidity, outrage, vanity, cruelty,
iniquity,
bad faith, falsehood - we fail to see the whole array
when it is facing in the same direction as we.
- Jean Rostand

They said this is Vanity Fair, and I said,
Oh, I already take the magazine.
They said Annie Leibovitz wants to take your picture and I thought,
How nice!
- Shirley Knight

The knowledge of yourself will preserve you from vanity.
- Miguel de Cervantes

If I have one vanity wish, it would be to direct.
It's the only thing I haven't done yet that I would like to.
- Theodore Bikel

Our vanity is the constant enemy of our dignity.
- Anne Sophie Swetchine

The truest characters of ignorance are vanity and pride and arrogance.
- Samuel Butler

You can't control how you are perceived,
and you are a fool if you waste any energy trying to do so.
Vanity will get you nowhere.
- Dave Blood

You know, at 35 or at 38 or 40 you really start to
see what your body could look like if you just don't
do anything all winter long.
So that's another motivating factor,
our vanity.
- Stone Gossard

The man of life upright has a guiltless heart,
free from all dishonest deeds or thought of vanity.
- Thomas Carlyle

How can anybody learn anything from an artwork when
the piece of art only reflects the vanity of the artist and not reality?
- Lou Reed

The whole business is built on ego, vanity,
self-satisfaction, and it's total crap to pretend it's not.
- George Michael

Vanity is as old as the mammoth.
- W. L. George

She gave up beauty in her tender youth,
gave all her hope and joy and pleasant ways;
she covered up her eyes lest they should gaze on vanity,
and chose the bitter truth.
- Christina Rossetti

When women smoke, it is hard for them to quit because
they are so worried about their weight;
it's a vanity issue and a mindset.
- Loni Anderson

Well, there are more writers of blogs right now than there are readers,
so that's clearly a vanity phenomenon.
- John Doerr

If there is a single quality that is shared by all great men,
it is vanity.
- Yousuf Karsh

Ladies of Fashion starve their happiness to feed their vanity,
and their love to feed their pride.
- Charles Caleb Colton

God how I hate new countries: They are older than the old,
more sophisticated, much more conceited,
only young in a certain puerile vanity more like senility than anything.
- David Herbert Lawrence

But, after all, we are a young nation,
and vanity is a fault of youth.
- Rebecca H. Davis

I was really excited to get to shave my head -
it's something I'd wanted to do for a while and now I had a good excuse.
It was nice to shed that level of vanity.
- Natalie Portman

Vanity is the quicksand of reason.
- George Sand

Vanity is my favourite sin.
- Al Pacino

Always first draw fresh breath after outbursts of vanity and complacency.
- Franz Kafka

There is perhaps no more obvious vanity than to write of it so vainly.
- Michel de Montaigne

Now, being on the cover of Vanity Fair is as important
as being in great movies.
The lines are very, very blurred.
- Jason Patric

I don't really lift weights.
It's kind of a vanity thing that I don't get into.
- Jeremy London

Vanity dies hard; in some obstinate cases it outlives the man.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

Whatever talents I possess may suddenly diminish or suddenly increase.
I can with ease become an ordinary fool.
I may be one now.
But it doesn't do to upset one's own vanity.
- Dylan Thomas

The world is all a carcass and vanity,
The shadow of a shadow, a play And in one word,
just nothing.
- Michel de Montaigne

For our vanity is such that we hold our own characters immutable,
and we are slow to acknowledge that they have changed,
even for the better.
- E. M. Forster

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed,
one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
- Garrison Keillor

I have come to have the firm conviction that vanity
is the basis of everything,
and finally that what one calls conscience is only inner vanity.
- Gustave Flaubert

Pampered vanity is a better thing perhaps than starved pride.
- Joanna Baillie

Magnanimous people have no vanity, they have no jealousy,
and they feed on the true and the solid wherever they find it.
And, what is more, they find it everywhere.
- Van Wyck Brooks


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