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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Usual Quotes
Funny Quotes about Usual

Let these funny Usual Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
- John Lennon

Conversations with God are very different
from the usual nature of prayer.
Prayers are commonly only in one direction -
the one praying speaks and hopes God is listening.
Prayers also tend to focus on asking
for specific things or outcomes one wants,
rather than seeking to better understand the mind of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This overcoming of all the usual barriers
between the individual and the Absolute
is the great mystic achievement.
In mystic states we both become one with the Absolute
and we become aware of our oneness.
This is the everlasting and triumphant mystical tradition,
hardly altered by differences of clime or creed.
- William James

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter


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A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly,
usually for the same reason.
- Anonymous

What one has to do usually can be done.
- Eleanor Roosevelt


 

Success usually comes to those
who are too busy to be looking for it.
- Henry David Thoreau

When you ask the wrong question,
you usually get a nonsense answer.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts
filed away just below the conscious level.
- Joyce Brothers

Each of us is burdened by an unlimited number of
expectations (demands) that we hold for the actions of others.
We "know" that there is a right way to do things,
and are often outraged when our expectations are not met.
Usually, we are unaware that we merely
have a strong opinion and point-of-view,
and are sure that we know how everything is supposed to be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The path to your own happiness is usually found in service.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't take it personally -
it's not usually about you.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work,
so most people don't recognize them.
- Ann Landers

It is usually the imagination that is wounded first,
rather than the heart; it being much more sensitive.
- Henry David Thoreau

Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice,
and is never the result of selfishness.
- Napoleon Hill

The best morale exist when you never hear the word mentioned.
When you hear a lot of talk about it, it's usually lousy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Often, we get stuck on a question
for which we can't find an acceptable answer.
That is a good time to consider asking a different question.
Every question is based on some assumptions -
usually invisible assumptions that we don't see, unless we go looking.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What usually happens in the educational process is
that the faculties are dulled, overloaded, stuffed
and paralyzed so that by the time most people are mature
they have lost their innate capabilities.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

It really does matter when we tell even the slightest untruth.
Even something as well intentioned as
telling someone their ill-finished
hair style looks wonderful will backfire -
certainly karmically, and usually practically.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Parents are usually more careful to bestow knowledge
on their children rather than virtue,
the art of speaking well rather than doing well;
but their manners should be of the greatest concern.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

My ideas usually come not at my desk writing
but in the midst of living.
- Anais Nin

We all should choose our friends carefully.
I used to think that no one could know me better than somebody else,
because you're inside yourself, your body, you can't see yourself.
If you think like that, you surround yourself with
other people who are willing to tell you who you are,
which are usually judgmental people ...
we should really surround ourselves with the ones
that adore us and believe in the highest of us.
- Jewel

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar

Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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