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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Underachiever Quotes
Funny Quotes about Underachiever

Let these funny Underachiever Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death

Harvard takes perfectly good plums as students,
and turns them into prunes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott

One of the annoying things about believing in free will
and individual responsibility is the difficulty
of finding somebody to blame your problems on.
And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable
how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.
- P. J. O'Rourke


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A man who as a physical being
is always turned toward the outside,
thinking that his happiness lies outside him,
finally turns inward and
discovers that the source is within him.
- Soren Kierkegaard

The world turns aside to let any man pass
who knows where he is going.
- Epictetus

Wherever a man turns he can find someone who needs him.
- Albert Schweitzer


 

At the beginning of a relationship
we are attracted to the other person because
we think they are sexy, smart, funny -
whatever it is that we find appealing.
But very quickly, the focus of the relationship
turns to whether we feel appreciated.
If we don't feel appreciated, we don't feel loved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The success of love is in the loving -
it is not in the result of loving.
Of course it is natural in love
to want the best for the other person,
but whether it turns out that way or not
does not determine the value of what we have done.
- Mother Teresa

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
It turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance,
chaos to order, confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast,
a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past,
brings peace for today,
and creates a vision for tomorrow.
- Melody Beattie

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

We are tired of aristocratic explanations in Harvard words.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb

A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius

Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow

Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha

The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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