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Let these funny Uncertain Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
- Og Mandino
Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.
- Anonymous
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation
of uncertain, hazardous, and conflicting information.
- Winston Churchill
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"Uncertainty" is NOT "I don't know."
It is "I can't know."
"I am uncertain" does not mean "I could be certain."
- Wener Karl Heisenberg
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump
It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll
Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry
The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson
The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It takes a big cat to be number 2.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller
Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov
If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.